Interesting tidbits...

At the moment my house is quiet, Dennis and Josh are out with the cows and there are still 3 kids in bed, So I will take this time to update a bit on the conference (as much as I can until the rest wake up.)

Tuesday morning this week, I drove to Dauphin for the conference and as I sat and listened to the story of the lady that was driving with me (she had read the article and has a son with an ABI, she asked if I would mind a partner for the drive up) I was thinking how, "Wow, her story is so different from any of the survivors in my life, but she 'gets' what I talk about!" Then as I was sitting in Dauphin, listening to other stories around the room and then the other thoughts started "I don't know why I am here. Sam is not even in this 'league', maybe I am making a mistake about being here. I should have stayed home and helped Dennis. I feel so silly sitting here thinking that Sam's issues can even begin to compare with what some of these people are dealing with..."

Then the speakers started... and as I sat and listened and learned (ya I was shocked too!), we may be miles from where we were in the beginning but we still have miles to go in other areas, big areas, small areas... and then there is the' territoried' area we haven't even begun to 'explore' yet!

I learned about AMBIGUOUS LOSS.

AMBIGUOUS LOSS-- (defined by Dr. Pauline Boss) an unclear loss either physical absence with psychological presence OR  physical presence with psychological absence.

 This is something I had felt for years with my dad but people would say I was 'crazy' to think like this. I have always felt that my dad  - the person who was my dad- died 15yrs ago and now the man who is left is still 'dad' but not the man I grew up knowing.  This is ambiguous loss.  My dad and Samuel are both still physically with us but both are different from how they were before their brain injuries. My dad is obviously more so, but there is still a loss with Samuel too.  It was so uplifting to hear that I was NOT crazy (ok just not for this area☺) and that it is a 'normal occurence' with family and caregivers. I actually have 2 friends who BOTH told me that it was HORRIBLE for me to feel that my dad was gone, especially when e was right there in front of me! But I am sure that if everyone sat and thought about it, we have all experienced some form of ambiguous loss at sometime. It can happen even when someone does die, but eventually you are able to work thru te grief and go on, other times, like with a BI survivor (or probably ANY survivor), it is hard to 'get over it' when you live it daily.

Here are a few DID YOU KNOW tidbits...

ABI is one of the most common causes of disability and deaths in adults and is the leading cause of death in Canadians under the age of 45.

The annual incidence of brain injury is greater than that of Multiple Scleriosis, Spinal cord injuries, HIV/AIDS and Breast Cancer combined!

There are 3 times as many deaths from BI than from AIDS in the USA in a year.

There are more BI every year than ALL types of cancer combined!

Every Year in Canada, over 60 children will die as a result of bicylce related injuries, the majority from brain in jury.

22% of people with a BI will never leave thier homes.

In Ontario, 92% of men and 100% of women who sustain a severe BI never return to full time employment.

Bicyclists wearing helmuts reduce the risk of a BI by 88%.

Many people who previously would have died from thier BI now surivive, but with a diminished capacity for living.

More than half of Toronto's homeless have suffered a BI - and 70% of those did so prior to ending up on the street!

After one BI, you are THREE times at a greater risk for a second BI and EIGHT times greater for subsequent injuries.

 After reading these it really makes me wonder why there is not MORE AWARENESS out there about ABI/TBI!?  We need to spread the word and get people learning about this! Learning that BI's are nothing to be ashamed of and there needs to be more support to survivors, famiies and caregivers!  Get educated and spread the word!!!!

(I am now stepping down off my soapbox and going to begin my morning... with a cup of coffee, a handful of TBI papers to read and sit on my swing on the verandah! Happy Saturday!!!☺)

One Hundred Posts-- Wow

This is my 100th post-- and I am just... wow, amazed. I never thought that this blog would  continue past our first month or two home (even though I knew the journey was going to be a long one) and here I am starting post 100 and we are 1 year, 4 months, 29 days  from Sam's accident and here I am... here we all are...Dancing on the outskirts of 'normal', tiptoe-ing through TBI issues and setting and surpassing goals along side of some areas of failure new learning.
I would love to say that things with our house are great and all is rosy, cheery and FAB-U-LOUS but I would be lying. Lying to myself and to others, so instead I am trying to stay 'real' (which is really code word for sane)
This new year for us will be starting with some backtracking. Sam will be going back to being home every Wednesday for rest. He is still suffering living with fatigue issues. ( I wont say suffering as I feel alot of days that it is ME that suffers when he gets fatigued ... ☺ smiling here or else I may cry)
This year will be one tht will be of small steps, no real leaps and bounds that I can foresee. But we will take any steps forward that we can get.
2010 will be the year where if all goes according to my plan our house in Neepawa will sell and we can get out of the major debt that this move to the new old farm house  has cost us (or win a lottery☺) and we will all be extremely healthy and happy............................................................. but I know it is all according to HIS plan and whatever He allows to cross into our lives we will take in stride and handle with as much grace and thankfulness as we can muster. I wish life was a novel that we could read the last few pages to see how it all ends but that just isnt the way it is. (if it ws I would return my book for a new one-- maybe one with one of those cruise ships on the front -- oh wait that is a travel magazine...lol)
The new year will find me on here once in a while. When things need to be updated or I need to vent, or for no other reason than for me to work out my frustrations of life on. I dont claim to be an expert or even a semi pro at anything except maybe on stress...LOL but you can all find me on here once in a while.
I wish my readers a Happy, Healthy New Year that is filled with all of God's Blessings!
I would like to post one question and even if you are usually  a 'lurker' on here...
Have you learned anything this past year with reading my blog? It can be about TBI, life or ANYTHING? PLease let me know if anything I have put on here has been helpful to you!