teenagers... 'nuff said

can you say "sigh"... altogether now "SIGH". School has been officially over for our kids for 6hours and it has started already! A fight over the remote and attitude to follow -- so an early bedtime was in order for 2 of the boys... Sam's temper was at its best today since school was out and I am sad to say it all started (i think) when i told him he was to get off the computer, that he cant just get on it whenever he wants and that he still needs to ask to do so...

Which ballooned into attitude and silence, then asking him to please leave my cell phone alone (he was texting on it while i was resting in bed)... more attitude.

Some days I can tell when it is TBI related and others I cant. I dont even have the energy to try to guess what it was all about.

Dennis brought me home yesterday from Winnipeg from my dental surgery. I had the 2 bottom wisdom teeth removed and some of my jaw bone shaved to do this. So today was a "not get my blood pressure up' day (AKA stay in bed and relax) and rest. It hurts to talk, smile and swallow! My face is so swollen , I look like a pocket gopher!(can you tell which is me and which is the gopher!?) I have not ate anything decent since 9PM Wed. night while in Wpg (we went to the Olive Garden) so Sam's attitude and temper really didnt set well with me-- but i handled it well i think. We both sent the boys to their rooms early (8.30pm) and told them they were now there for the night. I think Sam was over tired as he was asleep not long after. (so maybe it was a TBI incident).

We got news last week that Sam is going to Wpg on July 8 for a Psych appt. it should be for the PTSD evaluation that we were thot to have been having back in Jan/Feb when we were in Wpg. Our regular doctor told me last week to tell this doctor that we have heard nothing from the sleep clinic either, so hopefully someone somewhere will get that ball rolling!

I also learned last week that I need to go to Wpg to St. Boniface Hosp for a GI lab for 24 hours. This means that I will have a tube in my nose down to my stomach and I will journal for the 24hours when and what I am doing when the GERD strikes. This test will then tell my GI Specialist what type of surgery is needed for my hernia. Great news tho is that Albert is no more! I DO NOT have an ulcer!! Whoo hooo! (that was my highlite of last week!) So we are waiting to hear more about this test...

Somedays i wonder if we will ever get back to a normal life. One where we arent constantly waiting for appt.'s, lab results, doctor calls, etc. This last year has been one of extreme stress (and not only life after Sam's accident) and I for one and ready for the normal stuff. It is so hard to believe that it has been almost a year since we were in Wpg-- it wasnt that long ago that I was saying that it was hard to believe it was a month and then 3 months.... time goes by so quickly.

Trace Atkins is one of my favorite country singers and when i hear his song "You're going to miss this..." it makes me cry. Because when i first heard it, it was before all this so it meant something else. Now when i hear it, the meaning of this song is so much stronger and holds a whole different meaning for me. It is one that makes me think of all that we could have lost and how much more we appreciate our family and the time we have with them now.

I have so many thoughts rattling around in my head these days that i must sit down and categorize them all! Maybe my posts can have more continuity to them...a bit more clarification, but then if i did that you would all maybe think that someone else was writing for me...lol.. i need to laugh here or else i would cry. just one of those days i guess..

Updates on the family...

I sometimes wonder if everyone believes we have 3 other kids since this blog WAS originally begun as something for Sam to use later to see how far he has come and to keep family and friends that are far away in the loop with our life and Sam's progress. It then evolved into more of a 'this is our life' and a learning tool for both Dennis and I AND to the general public on TBI, then it once again morphed into a ranting and therapy space for me. I still havent 100% nailed down what all its purpose but for the most part when i need to rant and update or whatever I tend to do it here... which brings me to this....

Yes we DO have 3 other children and today i felt it was time to update on them and what is happening in their lives (and how it is affecting mine! lol)

First I will begin with Joshua. Joshua is my oldest (he will be 15 on FRIDAY!!!) He is moving on to grade 9 next year (the high school end of the school) and this summer is going to look for his first "job" (meaning not one that is paid by either us as parents or other family members). He is a strapping 6'2" at last measure (that was a few months ago!) and ever the farm boy! He goes to either my mom's or to Dennis folks to get his 'fix' of farming 'big scale'. He is still quiet fromlast summer but we have noticed tho that he is changed in ways that alot of 14 yr old boys arent like. He DOES actually love his siblings (for the most part i am sure) and will help his younger sister and have fun with the family when there is no one but us around. He has a wicked sense of humour that he loves to tease us all with! he faces just shines and his eyes get that mischievous glean when he is relaxed and ready to let go of his 'grow'd up' side. He loves to be outside and is such a hard worker! We have to get this boy to learn how to not be such a workaholic! lol

I will skip over Sam right now since most of the postings on here are about him and move onn to Isaac.

Isaac is heading out to the Jr. high in the fall (same school as the boys but on the other end). He will be in grade 7. Isaac is our resident dreamer, performer and artist. He loves anything that is NOT labour intensive... he likes to be the thinker, or the foreman of jobs-- that way he figures he doesnt have to get his hands dirty! lol (you would think he would have learned by now that I make everyone get thier hands dirty!) Isaac loves all things that are creative. He will spend hours drawing cartoons, playing the piano or his flute, doodling, building Bionicles, creating things-- but he also loves his sports (which is funny to watch some days since he doesnt like to get dirty). right now Isaacs big plans in life are to first be a quarter back for the Saskatchewan Rough Riders and in the off season he will run a restaraunt. But we will just wait 'cuz next week he will change that plan and be the head president of Lego and create new Bionicles or the VP of Hasbro and make new games for kids to play...depends on his mood. Isaac has become quite affectionate since last summer. He is always in line for a hug, never misses a chance for a kiss or a squeeze from mom. (thats me!!!) He NEVER was like this before. He wasnt a snuggly baby or a huggy kid-- it was impossible to get one out of him! I am always amazed at the works God does in the lives of the kids after July 29. He took something that was tragic and made it wonderful. (not that i would want to do it over or at all if i had the choice...) but the change in our kids is remarkable.

(SIDE NOTE: please DO NOT think I think that our kids are perfect--far from it! And I know it. they are typical siblings but there are changes in them that literally just amaze me and make me Thank God for them!!!!)

Lastly and definitely not least is Hannah. Our baby just turned 10 last week! She is such a gurly girl... but man can she pack a wallop if the boys need it! lol She is about pink, fairies, Miley Cyrus, and being a girl. Our trip tp Winnipeg for her bday party (build a bear and shopping) was a blast! we spent 15 hours on the road away from home! Her and her friends had fun shopping at the mall and in VAlue Village (everyones favorite store!) and just spending the day with friends!
Hannah is still the mother hen of all and not too impressed to have to be away from us. She likes to stick close to home and be with mom and dad. Sometimes it hurts to see her like that now (we have to fight to get her to go somewhere without us), when she is such a social butterfly! My heart sang on Sat. to see her with her friends shopping, trying on clothes and giggling about little girl stuff--not a care in the world. She had just as much fun on Sunday showing Dennis all her purchases!

I guess I will also fill everyone in on Dennis too! He is changed too since last summer. He is more apt to jump in the van to just go and do something -- spur of the moment like. (ice cream to DQ, bike rides, etc) He did special ministry in church on my last Sunday. He spoke off some of the miracles we have seen since Sams accident -- to give the glory to God. He spoke so beautifully. Now my husband is NOT a public speaker, but that day he did and did it so well that he brought tears to many peoples eyes (yes mine included). He has definitely stepped out of his norm this year too. He has not only spoke publicly about Sam but also accepted virtual strangers help, prayers and questions. he has spent hours searching for info along with me and reading what we have found, going to the schools to talk about things and to doctor appointments.

I honestly wouldnt have wanted to go thru this last year without Dennis by my side. He has been so patient with me and my craziness (my not normal craziness too!) Sometimes I wonder if he knew all that we do now (not just with Sam but all the insane things that we have been thru) if he would do it all over... i know i would.

So that is it... that is the update on the Ginter clan for a bit now! I just wanted to update for a few reasons. One ... that yes there actually are other family members and they are not just figments of my wild imagination!lol) Two... so that if any of them ever look back on this time and want to read the blog, I dont want them to think that they were not a part of the whole process or that this whole year has been all about Samuel. And three... I want to be able to remember what all has been happening in our lives.(good memory but it is short you see....)

...

i have been trying for a few days to update here but cant seem to find the words to write. i feel like i am walking in a fog-- there is nothing wrong, everything is relatively well. i guess it is closer to saying feeling like i am waiting for the next shoe to drop.
i went for my gastroscopy-- apparently i have a hiatus hernia, and the med's i am on dont work for long -- if they work some days. so an operation (a nissen fundoplication) is proably the order of the day. i will see the specialist on June 17 (the week b4 i have to go to wpg for dental surgery... sigh)
My princess Hannah will be 10 tomorrow! She is so excited. i have arranged with friends to take 2 of her g/f and their moms to wpg and we are going to build-a-bear and to a mall to do some 'serious gurly time' with everyone. i hope to be in better spirits for tomorrow for my girl and for Saturday...
the last month there have been 2 young people die in our community, and i feel such sorrow for them, and to be honest, i feel guilt. Both boys were so young (18 and 13). they were both such tragic losses, for the family, their friends and the community. One was just a 'fluke' accident and one was not so much. I cant seem to shake the guilt. I know we are extremely blessed to have not only been through our ordeal but to be on the side of miraculous but why the guilt?
i cant explain the horrible ache in my stomach and the crying... why us? isnt that so selfish? why was my son spared and these boys werent? why do i feel so guilty that my son was shot in the head and survived and surpassed all expectations of the doctors? and both of these boys are gone now? i want to say that i know God was there with both boys, but if he could save mine ahy not them too? i want to be mad at Him for that, but i cant because He WAS there with Sam, He was with me and Dennis, He was with each of my children thru it all...
so i guess that would explain my fog maybe, maybe not... i think maybe i need to find someone to talk to about it all...or maybe do as my friend told me to do -- throw rocks at the barn... let out some frustration... i wonder if there are enough rocks on our farm?

Busy Week

Well we gave sam his ipod last night and he was pretty excited about it all... no kidding! lol So hopefully it will do some good for the last few weeks of school. Dennis and I are hoping to find out who his teachers are for next year sooner rather than later so we can talk with them and give them the info we were given from Wpg so they have the summer to digest it and maybe come up with some ideas that can work for us all. Please pray for them to understand and hear what we are trying to show them!
I am praying about the new endeavour with the TBI social network. I want to be sure that this is something that God is wanting me to do. It seems like it might be but before i go jumping into it I need to be sure... so prayers on that front would also be welcome.
I got a phone call yesterday from the GI Unit in Brandon and on Thursday I go in for a gastroscopy at 12.30. I am nervous about it and a bit worried... not particular reason.. just am. I am trying to give it to Him so I am not so stressed about it.
we got a letter yesterday from Winnipeg for Sam. He will be gonig in soon for another psych eval. just a matter of when now.... busy busy busy!
Samuel was in the other local paper this week! It was a cadet photo and he was in the middle and looked so good! i am going to stop in there today and get a copy of it emailed to me so I can post it on here.
I am not sure what is exactly on my mind or my heart these days that is making me feel so emotional. it is most likely a combination of everything but i feel like crying at the stupidest things lately. happy songs, sad ones, commercials, just sitting, doing laundry, driving.... typing on here.... like right now... i just cant explain why. and i hate it...
thank you for all the encouraging words that were posted on the blog a few days ago. they made my day (and the crying began... :) ) I love to write on here but some days i wonder if what i write makes any sense to anyone but me! lol I try to be as honest as i can without sounds like a complete nerd or twit... but somedays i miss that target completely i am sure! But thank you to all of you that posted and to everyone who reads but doesnt post! I apreciate the comments and please feel free to leave as many as you want! I love to hear from people! (I even allow annonymus commentors if you dont have accounts to post otherwise!)
God Bless you all!

Brain Injury Awareness Month

June is TBI awareness -- at least in Canada it is.
This month i will be working hard to spread the work to educate, educate, educate!!
I am going to start working on what i want to put on the networking system this week.
I need to come up with keywords that will be used to help ppl to find the site when it is online, a title for the site, a favicon (the picture that is in the we addy in the top left corner), a description or a mission statement for it. I have been puttering at it last week but this week it will get more attention to details! I am so psyched about this!

I went to the doc on friday and he got me put on the urgent list for a gastricoscopy in Bdn. I am hoping to get in soon... albert and GERD have been basically making me grouchy and irratiable with everyone and i apologize to my family for that. I just hope that the day for that procedure doesnt land on the same day as my dental surgery at the end of june. I am going into wpg for 2 days so they can take out my 2 bottom wisdom teeth. the dentist discovered that they arent erupting because my jaw bone is over the top corner of BOTH teeth! go figure....

we got sams ipod touch and today i will be playing with it and setting all the alarms for him for the rest of the school day. it is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay cool and now i really want one! lol dennis says maybe i will have to talk to santa. i think i might just scrimp and save my pennies and see if i can get one b4 then... since i use my ipod when i am walking-- which here in manitoba is typically in the summer months! lol i think he will be excited although i think he already has an idea he is getting one-- not sure how but i think so...