Sunday, March 17, 2013

sometimes I just feel like ....

Maybe it is more of a pity party thing but sometimes it is just a plain and simple I am exhausted from it all.
I am tired of advocating
I am tired of phoning, emailing, reaching out to others only to be let down and ignored (well that is how it feels to me anyhow)
I am tired of watching out for everyone
I am tired of not having others to confide in about everything that is happening
I am tired of feeling so alone even in a house full of people

I have been working hard on getting stuff out there and trying to get some people to listen and possibly help me in some way.... but so far I have had a butt load of people tell me to send them emails with our story and pics of what I am doing and trying to do. I have had them tell me they will get back to me via emails, phone calls, meetings etc. and so far no one has. It is very discouraging and I am seriously tired. I didnt start this part of our life so that I could waste precious time with the rest of my family and friends to be treated like a nobody -- and that is how I feel. I have others emailing me wanting things that cost money that we dont have. I have people emailing me asking me to do more for THEIR cause but no help in return. I have learned to not share any information about the emails and calls I get... but then there is stress built up as I am the only one to deal with it all...

The past few years I have been very busy from Jan to June trying to spread awareness and help educating the public about brain injury awareness. This time has taken a toll on my family  and I wonder if it will be worth it in the long run.
Dennis wants me to focus on one area of awareness- which I have been trying to do. My dad doesnt seem to know or care one way or another and Sam I think would honestly just like me to stop altogether.

I did not start with helping educate the public about brain injury for fame and fortune... I did it in hopes of bringing awareness to the public so that if someone finds themselves in the same spot I was in (with my dad, Dennis and Sam) that they would A. not feel so alone B. know that there is hope C. maybe have a bit of an idea where to start when it comes to looking for help or support

Have I bitten off more than I can chew?

Is it time to throw in the towel and admit defeat?

Maybe the time has come to walk away and let someone else take over?  

I dont know what to do anymore....