so now we begin a week of running to Winnipeg and Brandon -- ct scan, paediatrician appointment, eye doctor, orthodontist and no school. Thankfully it is a short week and so Sam is only missing 3 days.
I am trying to do some research on seizures and can only seem to come up with epilepsy info. I have read that if there is no reason for the seizure the diagnosis will be epilepsy, but otherwise will it all be down to the brain injury?
After talking with Sam a bit and thinking back there have been mornings where he has woken up very tired and sore, with a slight headache... were they petite mal seizures? Maybe he doesnt have an apnea issue with sleep... maybe it has been smaller seizures going undetected the last 2.5 yrs...Will they be able to tell on the ct scans if he has had more than one? Will Dr. G do an EEG? was this seizure a one time thing or will there be more? will he be on meds now? if so what else can he be on other than dilantin since he has an allergy to it? Will we know what the triggers are if they continue? If there are no real triggers what about a service dog to help him to be prepared for one?
I know there all seem so silly to think about but I am so tired of being blind sided with new 'developments'. I am tired of ME looking for the answers and the doctors seeming to 'not worry'.
My body is tired and so is my brain. I am so emotionally and physically spent right now ... I am trying to stay strong but for how long?
I was just thinking last week how now I was able to get back to spending more time with ALL our kids and not just seeming to be focusing on Sam. I was planning on spending time each week with each one on our own. Getting back to being the mom I used to be, but now I am not only NOT there, I am a huge leap backwards. I am feeling more like a loser and a failure as a mom at every turn these days.
I cant seem to get enough done in a day to do what needs to be done-- forget about bonding with my other children...or anyone for that matter
1 comment:
aheeeeem! no more talk of failure! you are far far far far from that! you would do this for any of your children. Remember you are real - you don't have to stay strong. You are completely entitled to weak moments. The whole weight of the world does not belong on your shoulders alone. Let God carry it - its much easier that way. Now, have a glass of water and Here is a BIG (((((((HUG))))))))))
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