Monday, October 6, 2008

Everybody wants to go to heaven...

Preacher told me last Sunday mornin`
Son, you better start livin` right
You need to quit the women and whiskey
And carrying on all night

Don`t you wanna hear him call your name
When you`re standin` at the pearly gates
I told the preacher, "Yes I do"
But I hope they don`t call today
I ain`t ready

Everybody wants to go to heaven
Have a mansion high above the clouds
Everybody want to go to heaven
But nobody want to go now

Said preacher maybe you didn`t see me
Throw an extra twenty in the plate
There`s one for everything I did last night
And one to get me through today
Here`s a ten to help you remember
Next time you got the good Lord`s ear
Say I`m comin` but there ain`t no hurry
I`m havin` fun down here
Don`t you know that

Everybody wants to go to heaven
Get their wings and fly around
Everybody want to go to heaven
But nobody want to go now

Someday I want to see those streets of gold in my halo
But I wouldn`t mind waitin` at least a hundred years or so

Everybody wanna go to heaven
It beats the other place there ain`t no doubt
Everybody wanna go to heaven
But nobody wanna go now

Everybody wanna go to heaven
Hallelujah, let me hear you shout
Everybody wanna go to heaven
But nobody wanna go now
I think I speak for the crowd

Sam was telling Dennis the other day about an assignment they are doing in LA (Language Arts) and they have to choose a song and write about it. Sam has chosen this song by Kenny Chesney. He said that it was first out when he was in the hospital and that was the way he felt: he wants to get to heaven-- just not now! Dennis said he was so serious about it. Sam has definitely changed in his attitude towards his beliefs, he has had such a life altering experience and he seems to have given all that could have been a great deal of thought. He used to tell us he was a believer but now there is a difference in his tone and his attitude when he talks about it. He feels it more now i think.

Last night Dennis and I were talking about Sam and everything that is going on now. It suddenly struck me that his accident was just over 2 months ago! Time has gone so slow for me that I feel like years have gone by when in reality 8 weeks ago we were in PICU with our boy, not knowing where we were going or what we were doing-- just praying! And God answered those prayers and so many more than we can even imagine! We laugh at the prayers that we never thought to ask and that were answered for us! Everyday i am amazed by Sam and what God has done for him and our family, everyday i thank Him for allowing Sam to stay with us, but at the same time the whole ordeal seems so surreal to me... when I look at Samuel it is so hard to believe that this young man was laying on a stretcher, covered in blood, telling me that he hurt his head. That Dennis and I rushed to Wpg to learn from the surgeons what to expect and what was the probable outcome for our son and family. That he was in the PICU and looked so incredibly small and fragile with all the tubes and monitors hooked to him--being able to look at him but not hold my boy... even writing it, it seems unbelievable-- then i look at Sam and where he is now!

But in with saying all this we may be now entering the PTSD part of our family's journey thru this. Samuel seems to be showing signs of Post Traumtaic Stress Disorder. Which is normal with TBI survivors. I cant explain it all but lets just say that there are signs and here are a few of his : Irritability or crankiness, Changes in performance at school, Lack of interest in favorite activities, Tiredness or listlessness, Light-headedness, dizziness... there are MANY symptoms and just when i thought i was done with researching things-- i have new one, just when we thought we were able to settle somewhat into a routine... To say the least things get a tad bit "stressed" here with the new development.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and don't lean on your own understanding. In all things acknowledge him, and he shall direct your way. [Proverbs 3:5, 6]” has always been a powerful scripture for me... but it is even more so now. I will lean on the Lord and He will take us through this journey

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