blindfolded with mitts on

my mom called me this morning to tell me that my cousin in Ontario that has cancer is not doing well. the doctors are not doing anymore treatments with him. I was hoping for a more positive start to the New Year.
I know a while back i had said i needed to stay real with how i was feeling about things in our lives and family... well here it is....
My kids are all a bit different right now . Josh is sick with something (kinda croupy coughs and just feeling like garbage) and quiet alot more--but still has that new nervous habit of making noise, Sam is NOT sleeping well at all and so he is exhausted all the time, Isaac seems to be more emotional and dramatic about almost everyething and Hannah is extremely clingy and emotional.... I would like to say it is just the Christmas blues...but i know better. I know my kids and what they are like.... this is not my kids. I think we need to all sit down and talk and try to get to the bottom of things and let some of this emotional "bottling up" that we all like to do, out. I think it is finally time to set everyone down and talk about what has happened with our family since this summer. I laugh sometimes about the counsellors that we talked to shortly after Sam's accident and how they all said "oh you are handling it all fine!" maybe they should see us now... it feels like my family is falling to pieces and slipping thru my fingers! I feel like I am trying to put together a puzzle in the dark .... with mitts on.