I have been trying to get some gifts ready for the kids for Christmas (we are all making gifts this year as the $$ is a bit tight). I trying to make each of the gifts for the kids a gift filled with memories. Joshua will be getting a 16X20 frame with different pictures of himself and Dwayne (my step dad that passed away Sept '08). Dwayne was Joshua's mentor, his hero. It is not unusual to find Joshua at the computer going thru pictures of Dwayne and our family.
Samuel's gift will be a scrapbook that I started when he was in the hospital after his accident. It has photos of alot of the medical staff that worked on or with Sam along with notes of encouragement for him. There are also pictures and letters/notes from friends and family. I had sort of worked on it before but not to the extent that I have been this week. It has been very emotional, hard to see the pictures of him in the hospital. The pit of my stomach rolls, my eyes tear up... I can feel the anxiety and the stress of when we were in Winnipeg as if it were still happening to me. My chest gets tight, my heart pounds and I have cried many, many times over the book. I have added a pocket to the back of the book with cards from people, the news article that the local paper did on him in the spring, and a few other tidbits for Sammi. I am stuck on what I am going to do for Hannah and Isaac and to be honest I think I should have thought about (and did) theirs first and saved Josh's and Sam's gifts for last -- they are so emotional and I really didn't think that making these gifts was going to be this hard.
It has been a rough week ... month .. heck things here haven't gotten any less stressed for over a year ...actually but there are more to get through I guess ... right?