Monday, January 10, 2011

ahh me nerves!!

I have just put the finishing bit on my 'bloggin' for Lash &Associates and I am nervous as all get out!
What if it isnt what they want?!
What if people think I am talking non-sense?!
What if NO ONE reads it!?
Well that last one I dont think will bother me too much because really who but me and a few people read my blather!? ☺

The last week has been just 'peachy' with Samuel. he has been going either a mile a minute or beating the heck outta someone ... and the language... sigh... we are now trying a new tactic. Swearing will result in loss of telephone privileges .. so we will see if that helps.
Honestly this whole 'relationship' thing with him is stressing him to no end. He just isn't ready for one I don't think. But how do you tell a teen that they can't!? Especially when we live 30miles from the school. We can take away phone and computer privileges but how do we control what happens at school during 8.30am-3.30pm? We have talked til we are blue in the face (and you would think that THAT alone would cause him to think things thru ...)
I know that this is normal for teens and blah blah blah but there is a difference. I am not going to go into details but when your child is stressed AND losing weight, not sleeping, mood swings that effect the entire house... its not good. I can hear some people saying "oh is THAT all!? that is just normal teen stuff" but TRUST ME on this one... there is more to it.
I was hoping to get started on some 'me things' in this new year ... and I know it is not even 2 weeks in) but so far I have been too stressed to really concentrate on it the way I was hoping. I can't seem to get my head into the right frame to even figure out seemingly simple creative issues (I have been trying to work on a watermark for my photos and a logo-- and how to put them on my photos)
but I am
I need to get Sam into a better place first... but then I think if I keep putting my interests on hold will there be any interests there when I finally get the time!? Don't I need time for me to recharge so I can help all of the house better!?
I have to admit (and I feel like a real horrible daughter to say this) but the last 2 visits with my dad have been STRESSFUL for me and I have been glad to go home... I just want to be able to sit and cry on my dad's shoulder about everything that has happened in the last 2 years but I can't. He was who I used to tell everything to! And with it being Christmas my memories were filled with our last Christmas together and how excited he was to see and hold Sam. I couldn't pull myself out of that funk this year.
Maybe it IS more me right now but I can honestly say that I am feeling tired of being strong and being the one that helps everyone else out of their issues.
I think ...
it may be time to head back to counseling...


Jennifer Mosher said...

Thank you for commenting on my post. I also commented to you on my post (but not sure if you will see it). You can order an ebook of "The Smile on My Forehead." There's a link on my website at (the link is in the middle of the page).


Anonymous said...

I have just been reading some of your blogging. Jodi, I can't believe what you have been handling, and handling so gracefully with love and strength! I've seen hints of your life here on facebook but have never asked questions or looked into the 'hints' any further. Reading your blog certainly tells a story about you, and your family - but, wow, what a story of human spirit - family values, support, love, commitment and strength in general. Congratulations on, not only the successful blogging, but on coming this far in a journey with so much challenge and doing so with such admirable qualities. I wish you and your family a 2011 that sees daily improvements, continued love and support and health and happiness for everyone!
Tracey Ware-Cooper

Anonymous said...

omg!!!! I just read your acticle. Im so sorry Jodi. I didnt even know about what happen to Samuel. That article is outstanding. You sure have been thru the wringer. I so happy to hear Sam is good and doing well. I love you big Jod. XXOO
Janice McArthur Hollingshead

Anonymous said...

I read it! Brought tears remembering this horrific and miraculous time in your life. I passed your link on to a couple people who know people with brain damage.
Becky Uyaivato

Anonymous said...

Congrats Jodi! You are a wonderful writer! Very exciting to share your story with the world! I never knew what happened with your son. I would get started reading your blog off and on and never started at the beginning lol. Kudos to you hun. You are an angel here on earth ♥
Viginia Sharlow

Anonymous said...

Wow u did a wonderful job it brought a tear to my eye u r blessed with a very special son and family
Crystal Rannie

Anonymous said...

Very well done, and bless you all!
Valerie Graham