My date nights with Daddy are getting quieter and quieter. He doesn't speak much or even look at me. I find it hard to talk to him about life because when I talk he gives me (what in my mind are) dirty looks or disgusted looks. So I am unsure if I am annoying him or if he is just .... something else.
|Daddy in bed on our Thursday Date night...|
Dennis has been coming with me more lately and honestly I find it a huge relief- then the pressure is off me and Dad will sometimes respond more with Dennis. For example, 2 weeks ago we were there for a visit and after a half hour Dad looked so tired so I went to find a nurse to put him in bed. He hadn't spoke much and mostly sat with his eyes closed. When I left to find a nurse Dennis asked why Dad was so tired and his response was because he had "been hog tying calves all day."Dennis questioned him on this and Dad was adamant that he had been doing just that "hog tying calves". Now my dad was not a farmer or a cowboy... he was a trucker... so where this came from I don't know- perhaps a dream? Dad also told Dennis that he wanted us to leave because he was tired...But when I got back to the room Dennis told me what Dad had said, I asked Dad about it and he ignored me and wouldn't even acknowledge me, with the exception that he did indeed want us to leave.
I know I shouldn't take it personally and I should be happy he is expressing himself, but it hurts that he wont talk with me (but will with Dennis) and that he asks us to leave when we come to visit.(this was not the first time he had asked this).
This past Thursday Dad was already in bed and didn't acknowledge me again. We brought him ice cream and we watched 'The Big Bang Theory', All in the Family and M*A*S*H, yet he didn't speak with me.
It is really at times like this I wish I had a sibling to sit with and reminisce, laugh, cry, share the responsibilities... someone else that would understand what I am going thru...