Monday, September 8, 2008

Cancelling all weekends...

they are too emotional it seems. This weekend was not the best i have had (nor was it the worst...) but this was the Saturday that for the first time we went in different directions -- since July29. Saturday Josh was all geared up for his mentor duck hunt and Sam was preparing for the "Banjo Bowl" in Winnipeg(for those that are not football fans-- the 2nd of 2 games between Saskatchewan and Winnipeg). We are big RoughRider fans here and this was Sam first time to a game!
I had been preparing myself all week for Josh to go on his hunt, but nothing prepared me for how it was actually going to be on Saturday when we woke up and he was getting ready to go (Packing his overnight bag, clothes, shotgun...) I was ill, anxious, i had a headache, my stomach was turning. I couldn't eat so i did what i could... i took my pills from Dr. Chapman and i slept, i cried when i was awake and i slept a bit more. I wasn't ready to let him go out (without Dennis) and shoot a gun. Even tho there was going to be a mentor with him -- one to one-- i was so scared. Not that he would do something , but what if someone else did. Accidents happen.. we well know that. Dennis tried to calm my fears but i was still very ill for the rest of the day. We sent Dennis' cell with him and he texted us frequently and told us everything that was happening (going to see the field where they were hunting, saw his blind, lots of geese in the field, going to eat, going to bed and the most important.. I love you mom.) I prayed and Dennis prayed for and with me , and i made it thru Saturday night, but the anxiety got the better of me as we drove out of Neepawa. Now we were going to be in Winnipeg if he needed us... but he is a strong kid and handled the whole thing great. He kept me posted thru out the day (texts started at 4 am!!) and called me when he got home. It was hard to let him go out there and hard to leave him to take Sam to his football game, but we all made it thru. Joshua texted us that he got 2 geese and 2 ducks! Good size ones -- so now i have new recipes to work with.

The game between Sask and Wpg is a touchy one with Bomber fans in the city. We got many dirty looks and gestures over our Rider flag on the van and our shirts and hats... but we just smile and say"cant take the cup from us!" or" 7 wins (8 after last nights win!!!!)and 2 losses... not bad for the under dogs!"
WE got sorted at the stadium and found our seats (waaaaaaaaaaaay to the top of the stadium near the top of the bleachers). We got to watch the Riders warm up before the game ans Sam was getting excited. He really wanted to see Darrian Durant (his favorite player-- Quarterback) and Weston Dressler (receiver) but Durant is out with an injury. He was quite excited to see Congi practicing his kicking. Once the game started tho it was a bit different. The crowd was too loud for him and i think the Bomber fans yelling obscenities to the Rider fans got to him. Sam was sitting in front of me and about 5 minutes into the game i noticed he wasn't watching the game . he was huddled into his sweater. When i asked him what was wrong he cried and said "i cant see!" (here i panicked and thot he couldn't SEE). He couldn't see over peoples heads and bodies and he was so confused or ooverwhelmed maybe, that he didn't think to say anything to us OR to stand up or move so he could see. We moved seats and he was able to see but needed to be reminded thru out the game to more around to be able to watch the game. He really didnt like the noise of the game either. He sat with his hands over his ears for most of the game. Sam says he had a great time and i am sure he did but i am sure the overwhelming noise and crowds and verbal abuse that was being bantered back and forth kind of wrecked what he was hoping it would be.
There were 5 minutes left in the game (score was 31-31) and we got up to walk to the west side of the stadium to the Rider's tunnel exit, so Sam could see the players up close. We ended up sitting right by the entrance of the exit for the last 2 minutes of the game and had a great view of Congi kicking a field goal for the winning points 5 seconds left in the game for the score 34-31! It was a great end to an awesome game and I think thot that was the highlight of Sam's day... until Dressler(#7) was walking in and autographed Sam's hat for him! James Johnson(#19) (defensive back) signed Isaac's hat for him too! (both boys were flying high then!)

Today i feel like i have been thru the wringer a few times and am exhausted. Sam started his tutoring today and after what we saw yesterday at the stadium, I am glad we aren't pushing the going to school thing. When he gets overwhelmed by things he retreats and gets very emotional. I am not sure how well that would go over in a Jr. High school with other students. So we are going to be working on strategies to help him with this. So i will be surfing the TBI sites for any info to help him to deal with it. This is my new "norm" new things crop up and i am surfing TBI sites... how much info can one brain hold!? :-D


Marianne said...

Jodi, I so feel your pain. I cry when I read your posts. I feel like I am right there with you. I have ingrained in my son the safety of guns - he has taken the hunters safety course, my brother teaches it - I have made him read and re-read your blog on Sam... He keeps tries to reassure me... but as you say, accidents do happen. I also work with brain injured people whether it be from drugs, vehicle accidents, trauma... I get to go home; I couldn't imagine having the 24/7. You have probably heard it all but taking time with just Dennis and you is SO important. Shut your mind off of the what if's and don't try to take on the burden of others. You have enough on your plate. You can't change Sam's moods but find tools to deal with them - I so wish I could be there to support, hug and tell you it will all be okay. You are one special wife and mother and don't you forget that. Take time for yourself. Sam knows you love him and you will go to the ends of the earth for him. Love goes a long way... God blerss

Heather said...

I'm sending more (((hugs))) your way Jodi. I pray God will continue to strengthen you and your family