finally something happy to think about...

Yep , you are hearing it here! (not first either! lol thanks to Facebook) Dennis and I are heading to Toronto on Thanksgiving weekend to visit with family in friends in Brantford and Paris, then up to Coburg then to Uxbridge and finally ending in TO to stay with my cousin (who btw is wanting to take us out somewhere "swanky" were her words!LOL)before heading home. I had to tell her that we are from Manitoba and we dont do swanky... so i need to raid a few closets and find some stuff to take. Our family had all been returned to the airport on Monday to go to their respective homes and it was so incredibly hard for me to not climb on a plane and so somewhere--anywhere! So i came home and talked it over with Dennis and it was decided that Ontario is just were we need to be right now. I cant wait to see my cousin Andy (havent seen him in 20 yrs or more)and his wife Barb and my other cousin Melanie and her gorgeous 10yr old Jade! I will also get to see my aunts and my great aunt and then there are all my old school chums that i havent seen since grad in 1990... sigh (i want to be 10lbs thinner and more fit but i cant see that happening in 2 weeks!lol) I am just a bit excited to go as you can tell. I havent been home since Josh was just a few months old (he is 14 now) and Dennis has never been! He will get a bit of more understanding of my life i think (yes even after 16 yrs together) and why i am the way i am!

This summer has really made us all realize that we need to enjoy and appreciate our family and friends while we are all here! Not just expect them to be there. Yesterdays funeral was hard. There were about 500 ppl there and with Rdg Mtn being a small town alot of the ppl at Dawn's funeral had just been to Dwaynes...

The kids have all been told that it is just a mom and dad trip and they all seem to be ok with it. Grandma and Grandpa will look after them so all will be well on that front. But even tho i am so excited to go home and see my old friends and family i havent sen in 20 or more years-- I feel so guilty about it. (darn the "mom feelings") I am trying to relax more about Sam (he went on his first sleep over last night) and the other kids, but as we all well know... being a mom seems to automatically make our middle name "guilt". I am trying to give the "giddy-let-get-going-on-the-plane-and-relax"felling more free reign so it will hopefully drowned the guilt... we will see how that works for me.

Sam and I were in WPG on Wed for appt's they started at 10 and were solid thru til 2.30. (we finally ate lunch at 3.30 on our way out of the city). He will be doing a sleep study (overnight) in Wpg sometime before Christmas, at that same time we will be seeing the neurologist again. The neurologist on Wed told us to hold off on the full time school for now for a few weeks. Keep him at 1/2 time and let him get his self sorted. Sam had a couple of full time days at school but he was so tired by afternoon he was short and snippy with ppl so 1/2 days til he can gain control of his emotions when tired. We have had a few episodes with his lack of social skills and emotions, but for the most part he is Sam again. So when we get back from TO we will try full days again. Nothing has changed on the physical activity front-- no football, hockey or other contact sports til spring, no biking, swimming etc til spring either. His OT had said that he scored lower on his tests she did with him last week and will be sending things thru to the school for some help with it. So hopefully he can get back to his normal self both at home and school a bit quicker. He aced the communications tests he did. His therapist said he had amazing vocabulary for a 12 almost 13 yr old (Happy dance here!lol) and she wont need to see him again! He also needs to go for psychological testing to see where he is at mentally i guess. (so much info on Wed i was losing my train of thot!)
So that was Wed in a nutshell.
Overall Sam seems to be healing and reacting to everything that has happened this summer well--but there are days where i wonder still. He can be very emotional and touchy. Those days make me want to crawl back into bed (since back in time isnt possible...)and wait it out there...but, in being the mom i cant. They are draining for me and I am sure they are draining for him but he doesnt seem to understand when he gets into those moods so we have to teach him how to watch for them and know when he is tired before he gets to that point and how to either deal with it or work his way out of it. I have a hard time when i am like that... how do you teach someone else!?

One Wed night he was getting ready to go to bed after our trip into the city and he hugged me and said "thanks mom" and i asked for what. He said " for all that you have done today and this summer for me." I looked at him and said "Sam, i am just glad to have you here to do those things for!" his reply...he leaned back and looked up at me and said "I am too." he hugged me again and went to bed. I stood in our room and held back a waterfall of tears...