Sunday, September 21, 2008

the surreal life

This last week has been just so surreal. It has been impossible to think of it any other way. It has passed by so slowly. Dwayne's funeral was Friday and it was a hard one. The church was full and emotions were running high for everyone-- even the 'tough' construction guys were crying.
I was proud of Joshua. He stood so tall and proud as a pallbearer, but tears were running down his face. He broke down just before everyone got to the church for the private viewing. He broke down at the cemetery but he walked and carried Dwayne not only physically but totally in his heart to the hearse.
My mom has been just like a Chevy truck - "like a rock". At the funeral luncheon she was comforting everyone and doing Dwayne proud. He was smiling on us i know. It is going to hit her hard on the holidays when he those were times he was always home for. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter... I thin that is when it will all hit my Hannah too. She is very confused right now and not really understanding what is happening.
Isaac is taking it hard since he is very emotional and very in touch with people's feelings. But he went up to the casket and said in a small quiet voice" i love you uncle Dwayne, good bye."
Samuel was overwhelmed and sat beside me, holding my hand crying and he kept asking if i would be ok. What an awesome man he is growing into. I was so proud of all my kids on Friday. They were great supports to Dennis and I, My mom and to others.

WE came home from mom's yesterday around noon and we were trying to relax and take it easy when we got a call from a friend that was calling to tell us of another friend that had a massive heart attack last the night before. It just never seems to stop! She was 45-50yrs old. She has a teenage daughter and a husband... i cnat even describe what is going on in our heads and hearts this week. It is hitting Dennis hard as he played broomball with her and her husband, they were at our wedding, she used to run the cafe in Kelwood where we would have coffee and meals... to much.
Then this morning my mom passed this email on to people. I am posting it cuz it is so true... I cried, so maybe grab a kleenex or two first...

Maybe... we were supposed to meet the wrong people before meeting the right one so that,when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.

Maybe . . . when the door of happiness closes, another opens; but, oftentimes, we look so long at the closed door that we don't even see the new one which has been opened for us.

Maybe . . . it is true that we don't know what we have until we lose it, but it is also true that we don't know what we have been missing until it arrives.

Maybe . . . the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

Maybe . . . the brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; after all, you can't go on successfully in life until you let go of your past mistakes, failures and heartaches.

Maybe . . . you should dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go, be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you dream of, and want to do.

Maybe . . . there are moments in life when you miss someone -- a parent, a spouse, a sibling, a friend, a child, a cousin -- so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real, so that once they are around you appreciate them more.

Maybe . . . the best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

Maybe . . you should always try to put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that something could hurt you, it probably will hurt the other person, too.

Maybe . . you should do something nice for someone every single day, even if it is simply to leave them alone.

Maybe . . giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back. Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart; but, if it doesn't, be content that it grew in yours.

Maybe . . . happiness waits for all those who cry,all those who hurt, all those who have searched, and all those who have tried,for only they can appreciate the importance of all the people who have touched their lives.

Maybe . . . you shouldn't go for looks; they can deceive; don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.Find the one that makes your heart smile.

Maybe . . you should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, and enough hope to make you happy

Maybe . . . you should try to live your life to the fullest because when you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling but when you die, you can be the one who is smiling and everyone around you crying.

Things can only get better right!?
Samuel told us a couple of weeks ago that he was going to be going to school full time in 2 weeks-- that was his goal.Well tomorrow he is going to go for his first full day. He is so excited. I pray that all goes well for him and that there are no side effects of the florescent lights or noise or that he gets too tired! I found out on Thursday from the school too that he will be back in his regular class (the band class) and he is going to be on percussion instruments (he was a trombone last year-- but it is too heavy for him to handle right now! He will be very excited when i can remember to tell him... :-D


Marianne said...

You may not realize it now Jodi but you are an inspiration to me. Although we are going thru some similar things and yet so different... I read the "Maybe" words on your blog and have taken them to heart.
((hugs)) to you and your family - one can never get too many of those :)

Marianne said...

Sorry, I don't know how I manage to get my comments ON your page... I try not to make it so public!

Lana said...

Jodi, my condolences on the loss of your stepfather. I never met him but it sounds like he was a very special man and he touched a lot of people. I know how difficult this must be for you. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. ((hugs))