"Change is good Donkey" (from Shrek) is one of my most favorite lines! And if you were to ask my husband he would say that I am constantly changing things (living room, kitchen, hair colour/style, bedrooms, gardens-- he never knows just what he is coming home too!lol) And this past year the changes have been coming at me fast and furious and I have NOT liked it! I have not handled things (changes) so well this year, but I am hoping that will all be changing (LOL) soon. See I gave my notice at work yesterday. May 29 will be my last day at the church. There are a number of reasons why Dennis and I chose to do this but the main and foremost reason is that with summer coming up it is best for me to be at home with the kids. It wouldnt be fair to anyone for Josh, Isaac and Hannah to have to deal with Sam if he is not having a good day. And in order for us to help him stay focused and get better we need to stay in a routine (which is hard to do with me working 3 days a week).
It was a very hard decision for us to make, since i DO enjoy my job, but my family comes first. I am hoping that there will be alot more changes in our house with this new 'endeavour' of me being a stay home mom again! (restoring order to our lives again!)
I was worrying this morning about going into work and what people will say when they find out but as I was reading my bible and the devotional that went with it (from the Family walk devotional Bible) was about that as parents our most important job is to raise our kids in the way of our Lord. Which got me to thinking, I am doing the right thing...I am doing what i believe God wants us to do. We are trying to put our house in order and live in a way that is pleasing to Him. These past few months I have felt so much pressure with work, home life, taking Sam to appts, looking after my dad and my mom that I felt like I was being stretched so thin that i was going to snap! Work is something that was a stress I could eleviate (it is a part time job) and something that we can survive without. It will just mean a new budget to organize and follow and a few pinches here and there, but it is do-able. I feel a bit little on the shoulders now too and I am hoping that the kids and Dennis will start to feel it too once I am able to get my head around it (and stop with the guilt about resigning half a dozen times a day). Deut.31:8 says "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." I will hold onto that verse today and for many days to come I am sure.
btw... Sam weighed in yesterday and another weight GAIN!!! WHOOO HOOOO!! I am very excited about this! The doctor did tell us last week to not worry about his not gaining weight or growing taller because his brain is still healing and it will take a long time for it to do so. So i am prepared that he may lose it again but that make 2.5pounds he has gained in 2 weeks!! Just an update for football weight... Sam won't be able to play football this year due to his weight and he has no stamina for it. Wait let me rephrase that... he WOULD play an entire game i am sure (as he wouldnt know when enough was enough), but it would take him weeks to recouperate from it with fatigue. So there will be
no football for him this year.
Sam doesnt realize when he is fatigued and will push himself until he falls down. I read a post from a lady with a TBI and she explained it so well. She saif that most people without a TBI will get numerous chances with thier brain to slow down but when you have a TBI your brain gives you just ONE CHANCE and if you miss it... it will make you stop. Sam always misses the one warning his brain gives him. I am not sure if it is he is in denial or if his 'self check function' (cant think of the word for here right now) isnt working right yet.
So God has been making changes going on in our house this past month and I am starting to like change again!