"Someone is sick!" and the blankets flew and the bed jumped... that was my wake up call this morning. In the wee early hours of the morning, Isaac did his best to make it to the bathroom but before he could... it all hit the floor.
Both mine and dennis' feet hit the floor at the same time and luckily I didnt make it to Ike before he threw up. I tend to be one of those people that have good intentions of helping the physically sick-- but fail once it actually is 'out in the open' and then i am a contributor to the clean up. But as I said I was a step or 2 too late. (thankfully!)
So every 1/2 hour from them on the poor boy was throwing up. Not a happy camper.
Last night Hannah came home from school with a very sore throat and when i looked at her throat I saw all sorts of pretty colours... white, red, pink... so she has a throat infection then woke up this morning with very little voice but also a sore ear. (Dr.appt at 3:00).
Now add to this that I am not feeling so hot, Dennis is having bouts of "yeck" too. It seems we may have the flu bug in our house! I am trying to work from home today and thanks to the wonderful guys at the computer "fix it place" CN suppliers-- my computer this morning is running so super fast I am so amazed! I have been able to get alot more accomplished today than I did yesterday when it was not running quite as nicely. (thanks Jayden and Chris!!!)
This afternoon not only will I be taking Hannah in to see the Dr. Chapman, but I will have to take Josh in to see the chiropractor because we think he has pinched a nerve in his back. Not too hard to see him doing considering he is 6'2" and likes to use his back to pick up heavy stuff instead of his knees!
So in looking back at this week so far... Sam is the only healthy one, out of the lot of us! Which is good since someone is going to have to look after us while we all recouperate! lol I see alot of mac'n'cheese in our future....
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
The Final Countdown...
hey that should be a song! Oh wait it is!! lol reminiscing the 80's...
Actually what is means is that next week on May13, Sam will be seeing the neurologist (the surgical one) for his "all clear". From what we understand from the last time we saw him this date is when now Sam is at the lowest possible risk for infection (which he will have his whole life due to foreign objects in his brain) and his lowest chances for seizure (which he has never had!! Hallelujah!). It means he can go back to gym class, bike riding (we have already been doing -- erp) and things the like. All this is as long as Sam is able to do some self awareness checks (which he has a hard time doing right now!) He still gets headaches, dizziness, his appetite is iffy, his fatigue is not much better now than when it was in November-- maybe summer holidays will help with that and he concentration is not the best. All things I hope will be improved by my being home all the time (if he needs to stay home other than Wednesday than there is no issues to deal with) and that i will be home all summer to help keep him in a routine of organization. By this i mean we will have time each morning to clean rooms, and tidy the house, in the afternoon we will have 'quiet time' and then there is physical activity that i will be sure he is doing. If i were to remain at work it would be hard to instill this if I were not home.
I am almost done the scrapbook i started for him in Wpg. I need a few more letters to get from people and i think 1 or 2 pictures. I cant wait for it to be totally done and I think Sam wants it done too. He keeps asking to see it, but i say no since I would like it to all be new to him when he sees it! I wish there were a way to post the blog in the book and some of the responses that i have had. But i am not that technologically ept! (I am lucky to be able to post in here some days! lol) The book is photos of Sam with people that were involved with us during the whole 'episode' in Winnipeg. I have pictures of him with nurses, doctors, OT's, PT's, friends, family, people that gave their time, money and prayers to us! It is amazing the number of people that were directly in our path during that time! I wish I could get pictures of everyone that sent cards, foods, flowers or gifts! I hope that some of them see this blog and this post in particular and know that we gratefully and most humbly appreciate them for their caring words and actions! You were all such a blessing to us! Thank you!
ok enough sappy... tomorrow is Sam's weigh day! Please pray for good news!
Actually what is means is that next week on May13, Sam will be seeing the neurologist (the surgical one) for his "all clear". From what we understand from the last time we saw him this date is when now Sam is at the lowest possible risk for infection (which he will have his whole life due to foreign objects in his brain) and his lowest chances for seizure (which he has never had!! Hallelujah!). It means he can go back to gym class, bike riding (we have already been doing -- erp) and things the like. All this is as long as Sam is able to do some self awareness checks (which he has a hard time doing right now!) He still gets headaches, dizziness, his appetite is iffy, his fatigue is not much better now than when it was in November-- maybe summer holidays will help with that and he concentration is not the best. All things I hope will be improved by my being home all the time (if he needs to stay home other than Wednesday than there is no issues to deal with) and that i will be home all summer to help keep him in a routine of organization. By this i mean we will have time each morning to clean rooms, and tidy the house, in the afternoon we will have 'quiet time' and then there is physical activity that i will be sure he is doing. If i were to remain at work it would be hard to instill this if I were not home.
I am almost done the scrapbook i started for him in Wpg. I need a few more letters to get from people and i think 1 or 2 pictures. I cant wait for it to be totally done and I think Sam wants it done too. He keeps asking to see it, but i say no since I would like it to all be new to him when he sees it! I wish there were a way to post the blog in the book and some of the responses that i have had. But i am not that technologically ept! (I am lucky to be able to post in here some days! lol) The book is photos of Sam with people that were involved with us during the whole 'episode' in Winnipeg. I have pictures of him with nurses, doctors, OT's, PT's, friends, family, people that gave their time, money and prayers to us! It is amazing the number of people that were directly in our path during that time! I wish I could get pictures of everyone that sent cards, foods, flowers or gifts! I hope that some of them see this blog and this post in particular and know that we gratefully and most humbly appreciate them for their caring words and actions! You were all such a blessing to us! Thank you!
ok enough sappy... tomorrow is Sam's weigh day! Please pray for good news!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Changes...
"Change is good Donkey" (from Shrek) is one of my most favorite lines! And if you were to ask my husband he would say that I am constantly changing things (living room, kitchen, hair colour/style, bedrooms, gardens-- he never knows just what he is coming home too!lol) And this past year the changes have been coming at me fast and furious and I have NOT liked it! I have not handled things (changes) so well this year, but I am hoping that will all be changing (LOL) soon. See I gave my notice at work yesterday. May 29 will be my last day at the church. There are a number of reasons why Dennis and I chose to do this but the main and foremost reason is that with summer coming up it is best for me to be at home with the kids. It wouldnt be fair to anyone for Josh, Isaac and Hannah to have to deal with Sam if he is not having a good day. And in order for us to help him stay focused and get better we need to stay in a routine (which is hard to do with me working 3 days a week).
It was a very hard decision for us to make, since i DO enjoy my job, but my family comes first. I am hoping that there will be alot more changes in our house with this new 'endeavour' of me being a stay home mom again! (restoring order to our lives again!)
I was worrying this morning about going into work and what people will say when they find out but as I was reading my bible and the devotional that went with it (from the Family walk devotional Bible) was about that as parents our most important job is to raise our kids in the way of our Lord. Which got me to thinking, I am doing the right thing...I am doing what i believe God wants us to do. We are trying to put our house in order and live in a way that is pleasing to Him. These past few months I have felt so much pressure with work, home life, taking Sam to appts, looking after my dad and my mom that I felt like I was being stretched so thin that i was going to snap! Work is something that was a stress I could eleviate (it is a part time job) and something that we can survive without. It will just mean a new budget to organize and follow and a few pinches here and there, but it is do-able. I feel a bit little on the shoulders now too and I am hoping that the kids and Dennis will start to feel it too once I am able to get my head around it (and stop with the guilt about resigning half a dozen times a day). Deut.31:8 says "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." I will hold onto that verse today and for many days to come I am sure.
btw... Sam weighed in yesterday and another weight GAIN!!! WHOOO HOOOO!! I am very excited about this! The doctor did tell us last week to not worry about his not gaining weight or growing taller because his brain is still healing and it will take a long time for it to do so. So i am prepared that he may lose it again but that make 2.5pounds he has gained in 2 weeks!! Just an update for football weight... Sam won't be able to play football this year due to his weight and he has no stamina for it. Wait let me rephrase that... he WOULD play an entire game i am sure (as he wouldnt know when enough was enough), but it would take him weeks to recouperate from it with fatigue. So there will be
no football for him this year.
Sam doesnt realize when he is fatigued and will push himself until he falls down. I read a post from a lady with a TBI and she explained it so well. She saif that most people without a TBI will get numerous chances with thier brain to slow down but when you have a TBI your brain gives you just ONE CHANCE and if you miss it... it will make you stop. Sam always misses the one warning his brain gives him. I am not sure if it is he is in denial or if his 'self check function' (cant think of the word for here right now) isnt working right yet.
So God has been making changes going on in our house this past month and I am starting to like change again!
It was a very hard decision for us to make, since i DO enjoy my job, but my family comes first. I am hoping that there will be alot more changes in our house with this new 'endeavour' of me being a stay home mom again! (restoring order to our lives again!)
I was worrying this morning about going into work and what people will say when they find out but as I was reading my bible and the devotional that went with it (from the Family walk devotional Bible) was about that as parents our most important job is to raise our kids in the way of our Lord. Which got me to thinking, I am doing the right thing...I am doing what i believe God wants us to do. We are trying to put our house in order and live in a way that is pleasing to Him. These past few months I have felt so much pressure with work, home life, taking Sam to appts, looking after my dad and my mom that I felt like I was being stretched so thin that i was going to snap! Work is something that was a stress I could eleviate (it is a part time job) and something that we can survive without. It will just mean a new budget to organize and follow and a few pinches here and there, but it is do-able. I feel a bit little on the shoulders now too and I am hoping that the kids and Dennis will start to feel it too once I am able to get my head around it (and stop with the guilt about resigning half a dozen times a day). Deut.31:8 says "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." I will hold onto that verse today and for many days to come I am sure.
btw... Sam weighed in yesterday and another weight GAIN!!! WHOOO HOOOO!! I am very excited about this! The doctor did tell us last week to not worry about his not gaining weight or growing taller because his brain is still healing and it will take a long time for it to do so. So i am prepared that he may lose it again but that make 2.5pounds he has gained in 2 weeks!! Just an update for football weight... Sam won't be able to play football this year due to his weight and he has no stamina for it. Wait let me rephrase that... he WOULD play an entire game i am sure (as he wouldnt know when enough was enough), but it would take him weeks to recouperate from it with fatigue. So there will be
no football for him this year.
Sam doesnt realize when he is fatigued and will push himself until he falls down. I read a post from a lady with a TBI and she explained it so well. She saif that most people without a TBI will get numerous chances with thier brain to slow down but when you have a TBI your brain gives you just ONE CHANCE and if you miss it... it will make you stop. Sam always misses the one warning his brain gives him. I am not sure if it is he is in denial or if his 'self check function' (cant think of the word for here right now) isnt working right yet.
So God has been making changes going on in our house this past month and I am starting to like change again!
Monday, April 27, 2009
reposting ...
after posting my previous post today i read my Proverbs 31 Woman devotional... I decided to post it here too for others-- i cant be alone -- right??
I struggle daily lately to not get down on myself. Today I will work hard to try to focus on the positives in my life and not let these thoughts of negativity and 'down on me' thoughts to get the better of me. There is so much going on in my head with not only Sam and TBI but with my dad, my mom, the other 3 children, work, the farm... how can i keep it all from consuming me!? I have been talking ALOT to God these days about stress and other stuff and I have been listening to what he has had to say to me too. There are going to be some big changes coming down the pike for us in the next while. Some maybe not so good but others hopefully better that I hope will help to elevate other stresses. we have to pick and choose our stresses right? Dennis and I sat down yesterday and started making a pros and cons list... the pros list was waaaaaaaaay longer than the cons-- and then we prayed about it. I need to start seeing myself as a priceless princess and look at myself as God sees me. this will not only be good for me but I pray that it will be something that my beautiful daughter will also see and it will encourage her to see herself as one too.
On to the devotional. If you want to recieve daily devo's from Proverbs 31 Women then click here. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did...
God's Masterpiece...Who Me?
27 Apr 2009
Melissa Taylor
"For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." Ephesians 2:10 (NLT)You've got to be kidding me? If I didn't see it for myself in God's Word, I wouldn't believe it. Ephesians 2:10 says "…we are God's masterpiece."Wait a minute, this cannot be right. I don't feel like a masterpiece. I certainly don't look like a masterpiece. But God's Word says that I am a masterpiece. And not just anyone's masterpiece; I am God's masterpiece.According to Merriam-Webster's online thesaurus, synonyms of masterpiece are: showpiece, blockbuster, success, gem, jewel, prize, treasure, and piece of the master. Insert any of these words into today's verse in place of masterpiece.Doesn't it just take your breath away to know that there is Someone that feels this way about you?God loves what He created, so shouldn't we too? I struggle not to get down on myself. Often I focus on what I do wrong more than what I do right. I look in the mirror, compare myself to someone else and I just feel blah. That's right, blah. I wonder, "What's special about me?"It is very hard for me to believe that I am God's masterpiece. Do you have thoughts like these? If so, stop right there! Don't let those lies penetrate any deeper. That's not what our Creator thinks.When I listen to the Truth, which is His Word, not my thoughts, then I hear Him saying things like, "Oh Melissa, you don't always get it right, that's true, but I love you so much. Look in My mirror and see what I see, My beautiful creation, My treasure, My masterpiece.The sooner you see yourself for who you really are, the sooner you can take your reign as My priceless princess with a purpose - My masterpiece. You were created in My image and you are indeed a piece of the Master."Dear Lord, thank You for creating me in Your image and calling me Your masterpiece. Please help me to live like the one You created me to be. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
I struggle daily lately to not get down on myself. Today I will work hard to try to focus on the positives in my life and not let these thoughts of negativity and 'down on me' thoughts to get the better of me. There is so much going on in my head with not only Sam and TBI but with my dad, my mom, the other 3 children, work, the farm... how can i keep it all from consuming me!? I have been talking ALOT to God these days about stress and other stuff and I have been listening to what he has had to say to me too. There are going to be some big changes coming down the pike for us in the next while. Some maybe not so good but others hopefully better that I hope will help to elevate other stresses. we have to pick and choose our stresses right? Dennis and I sat down yesterday and started making a pros and cons list... the pros list was waaaaaaaaay longer than the cons-- and then we prayed about it. I need to start seeing myself as a priceless princess and look at myself as God sees me. this will not only be good for me but I pray that it will be something that my beautiful daughter will also see and it will encourage her to see herself as one too.
On to the devotional. If you want to recieve daily devo's from Proverbs 31 Women then click here. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did...
God's Masterpiece...Who Me?
27 Apr 2009
Melissa Taylor
"For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." Ephesians 2:10 (NLT)You've got to be kidding me? If I didn't see it for myself in God's Word, I wouldn't believe it. Ephesians 2:10 says "…we are God's masterpiece."Wait a minute, this cannot be right. I don't feel like a masterpiece. I certainly don't look like a masterpiece. But God's Word says that I am a masterpiece. And not just anyone's masterpiece; I am God's masterpiece.According to Merriam-Webster's online thesaurus, synonyms of masterpiece are: showpiece, blockbuster, success, gem, jewel, prize, treasure, and piece of the master. Insert any of these words into today's verse in place of masterpiece.Doesn't it just take your breath away to know that there is Someone that feels this way about you?God loves what He created, so shouldn't we too? I struggle not to get down on myself. Often I focus on what I do wrong more than what I do right. I look in the mirror, compare myself to someone else and I just feel blah. That's right, blah. I wonder, "What's special about me?"It is very hard for me to believe that I am God's masterpiece. Do you have thoughts like these? If so, stop right there! Don't let those lies penetrate any deeper. That's not what our Creator thinks.When I listen to the Truth, which is His Word, not my thoughts, then I hear Him saying things like, "Oh Melissa, you don't always get it right, that's true, but I love you so much. Look in My mirror and see what I see, My beautiful creation, My treasure, My masterpiece.The sooner you see yourself for who you really are, the sooner you can take your reign as My priceless princess with a purpose - My masterpiece. You were created in My image and you are indeed a piece of the Master."Dear Lord, thank You for creating me in Your image and calling me Your masterpiece. Please help me to live like the one You created me to be. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
how...
I wonder how other women handle work, life, kids and whatever else is thrown in? Do their homes look like disaster areas? Do they feel overwhelmed at anything new that 'pops' up? Does change makes them nervous and panicky?(even when they typically LOVE change) Are they able to keep upwith laundry, meals, groceries and other regular chores? Do they find time for themselves? Are they able to keep themselves together when they listen to songs on the radio about how tough, strong and able the woman in the song is?
How does a person know when they are at their breaking point? How does a person say that "i cant take anymore" and be taken seriously and not looked at like they are crazy or just a baby?
How do you know where to make a cut off of stress?
Somedays I feel like I have nothing together and I just wonder how other women cope!?
How does a person know when they are at their breaking point? How does a person say that "i cant take anymore" and be taken seriously and not looked at like they are crazy or just a baby?
How do you know where to make a cut off of stress?
Somedays I feel like I have nothing together and I just wonder how other women cope!?
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
WHOOO HOOOO
sam just weighed himself and he gained weight!!!!! yippee! He wont be at a safe weight for football season but I am ok with that!
We have a doctor appointment today and have a few things to talk to the doctor about... one is that Sams right knee locked on him the other day and he couldnt get up or move! Dennis was with him when it happened and he said it was locked and he felt it go back when he lifted Sam off the ground... so yet another thing... but SAM GAINED WEIGHT!!!!!!! Hallelujah! I pray it stays and he keeps going up!!!!
We have a doctor appointment today and have a few things to talk to the doctor about... one is that Sams right knee locked on him the other day and he couldnt get up or move! Dennis was with him when it happened and he said it was locked and he felt it go back when he lifted Sam off the ground... so yet another thing... but SAM GAINED WEIGHT!!!!!!! Hallelujah! I pray it stays and he keeps going up!!!!
in the works... spring, school, life..
YAY! Spring is here! This week has been nice! I have been able to get out to walk and ride my bike even!
The boys have had the dirtbike running and Sam has been on it a few times! The trampoline was flipped back over for use and the kids were on it the other day jumping like they were reaching for the moon- lol .
Today Sam will be staying at home (since it is Wednesday) and resting. I will try to get him out for a walk later too as long as it isnt too windy for us.
Last night we went to a meeting at the school for parents and students to prepare for grade 9. The boys chose their options for next year and got to hear how things were going to be for them. I think they got a bit of an eye opener when Mr. Swanton spoke about what life will be like once they are in high school: homework, maybe a social life, a job, etc. But the kicker was when they were told that they need to make decisions now for the coming years. Something we have been trying to prepare them for for a while now. (so maybe mom and dad aren't as crazy as they thought... ok ok ok they are crazy but only when it comes to the fun stuff! lol)
Mrs.vanK at the school also is trying to get Sam some books on MP3 for him to listen to, so that he can still keep up with work and not get so fatigued when just physically holding a book and reading it... yep that is what i said. READING makes him tired-- imagine how reading makes you tired and multiply it by 10 or so for Sam. His brain struggles to not only read the words but also to comprehend them and put it all together so that it makes sense to him... and then add the fact that he has to physically hold the book... it is no wonder this kid is fatigued so often. Hopefully it is something that will help him next year-- maybe one year of help with his reading and one day off a week and in grade 10 he will be back to a full normal routine.
On Friday last week all the kids went to Dennis mom and dad's to help with making sausages (and dennis and i stayed home to clean, house, yard and shop...sigh) But on Friday Hannah was upset about going. She was very upset. I got Dennis to talk to her but i knew what the issue was and sure enough i was right. hannah is scared to go to the farm. In her 9year old mind, it isnt safe... Josh and Sam were hurt there and she was scared that something might happen again. It broke my heart that she was so worried about it. Dennis talked to her and told her that it was ok to go and that satan was just trying to keep her from going to the farm and enjoying time with her grandparents. He was trying to keep her scared which is where he wants us to be! So she went. I think it is something that will happen for a while with her. She is a worrier that girl.
the prayer group that we started on Friday night went good too -- I think. the ladies all seemed comfortable with each other. I hope so anyway!
OH!!! Exciting news for our house! Dixi had her litter of puppies yesterday. She ahd SEVEN!!! There are 2 females, 5 males and they are adorable!
Have a great day!!
Friday, April 17, 2009
tired...
Lately I have been having more and more feelings of frustration and failure. I am tired, frustrated that people (teachers, doctors, family, etc) dont get what life is for us now. No one sees that Sam is different or if they do they write it off to "teen-dom" or attitude. It is maybe a bit of both in a very small way-- but for the most part it is BRAIN INJURY. I feel like I need to get Sam a shirt that relays this message all the time. When he has an 'attitude' a small correction of "Sam you need to check your attitude." or "Sam do you need to rest?" and usually (like 9 times out of 10) he will says "Ok" or "Yes". And probelm is usually solved. Instead I get people who say "Sam! I dont want to see that ---- or hear that ---- again! You need to grow up !" (fill blank in with an attitude or an action) They dont see the behaviour as a result of his fatigue or need for a self check. Sam is in denial most days that there is anything wrong with him (not that there is something wrong-- but more that he needs to relearn things)
Maybe i dont explain it right. Maybe I am going crazy. Maybe I am over compenstaing... but then wouldnt things be moving in a different direction!?
I dont know what to say or do anymore. I send emails of info constantly to school, to family and home to read and learn more (and hope that someone will see what we are talking about!) but so far ... nothing.
I am not trying to make small or anything of cancer patients or say that i wish Sam had cancer... but one thing that they DO have is that cancer "acceptance" is out there. People will help when they hear cancer, people know about it and if they dont quite understand it , they WILL educate themselves about it. People understand that cancer affects the family too and that they are in it for the long haul. There is hundreds of support groups for cancer patients, survivors, family and friends of them too. There are walks for it, charities for it and there is a worldwide understanding for anyone affected by it. With TBI there is nothing! It affects just as many people as cancer but there is nothing there to help survivors or families.
TBI can be as 'small' as a concussion or as 'large' as complete and total brain damage yet there is very little support out there for us. It is incredibly hard to explain to someone how hard it is to deal with if they dont see anything wrong! Since Sam's accident was 'self inflicted' there is no help finicially for anything (small things like braces to aid in apnea or now his possible teeth troubles, or for a PDA or Ipod to use for school work organization) There is no group to go to for kids that will help us to be a support to other parents who are going thru the same kinds of ordeals. I know we live in rural Manitoba but there has to be something! We have to deal with schools, teachers, employers for jobs, doctors, nurses, families, communities... there should be something out there for us! But so far there is nothing for children with Brain Injuries. I have yet to have a doctor tell me what to expect with his injury. ANYTHING! They all say "he is doing great" after seeing him for the first time for 5 minutes. Yes he is ... when it comes to holding up his arm level, watching a pen or a light, answering a few questions of a simple nature... but to really know how he is doing shouldnt they be seeing him more and actually LISTENING to what I am saying!? We have seen countless doctors for an almost seemingly endless list of things... and all of them we see ONCE so how do they know? Why dont they actually answer my questions, give suggestions, write the needed letters to the schools for us!?
I am tired of fighting. I am tired of feeling like I am failing Sam, tired of making everything seem like it is rosy here. Tired of the fights to get things -- simple things-- for Sam that should be there for him. Tired of telling people that he is doing great physically but then having to explain the mental part and the relearning part and seeing on their face the look of "huh". What if everything I have been doing these past months is all wrong!? What if he needed something else and I missed it? I am just tired, frustated and feeling like a failure... i just dont know what is the right thing for us to do with him anymore. What if we have been wrong all along?
Maybe i dont explain it right. Maybe I am going crazy. Maybe I am over compenstaing... but then wouldnt things be moving in a different direction!?
I dont know what to say or do anymore. I send emails of info constantly to school, to family and home to read and learn more (and hope that someone will see what we are talking about!) but so far ... nothing.
I am not trying to make small or anything of cancer patients or say that i wish Sam had cancer... but one thing that they DO have is that cancer "acceptance" is out there. People will help when they hear cancer, people know about it and if they dont quite understand it , they WILL educate themselves about it. People understand that cancer affects the family too and that they are in it for the long haul. There is hundreds of support groups for cancer patients, survivors, family and friends of them too. There are walks for it, charities for it and there is a worldwide understanding for anyone affected by it. With TBI there is nothing! It affects just as many people as cancer but there is nothing there to help survivors or families.
TBI can be as 'small' as a concussion or as 'large' as complete and total brain damage yet there is very little support out there for us. It is incredibly hard to explain to someone how hard it is to deal with if they dont see anything wrong! Since Sam's accident was 'self inflicted' there is no help finicially for anything (small things like braces to aid in apnea or now his possible teeth troubles, or for a PDA or Ipod to use for school work organization) There is no group to go to for kids that will help us to be a support to other parents who are going thru the same kinds of ordeals. I know we live in rural Manitoba but there has to be something! We have to deal with schools, teachers, employers for jobs, doctors, nurses, families, communities... there should be something out there for us! But so far there is nothing for children with Brain Injuries. I have yet to have a doctor tell me what to expect with his injury. ANYTHING! They all say "he is doing great" after seeing him for the first time for 5 minutes. Yes he is ... when it comes to holding up his arm level, watching a pen or a light, answering a few questions of a simple nature... but to really know how he is doing shouldnt they be seeing him more and actually LISTENING to what I am saying!? We have seen countless doctors for an almost seemingly endless list of things... and all of them we see ONCE so how do they know? Why dont they actually answer my questions, give suggestions, write the needed letters to the schools for us!?
I am tired of fighting. I am tired of feeling like I am failing Sam, tired of making everything seem like it is rosy here. Tired of the fights to get things -- simple things-- for Sam that should be there for him. Tired of telling people that he is doing great physically but then having to explain the mental part and the relearning part and seeing on their face the look of "huh". What if everything I have been doing these past months is all wrong!? What if he needed something else and I missed it? I am just tired, frustated and feeling like a failure... i just dont know what is the right thing for us to do with him anymore. What if we have been wrong all along?
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
another brick in the wall
I thought this title was appropriate since a post earlier was aboaut songs.... this song was running thru my head today as Samuel went to the orthodontist for his braces today. One more appointment for us (meaning me--selfish eh) to run to! Well I was definitely not disappointed in the area of "SURPRISE" today either -- nothing is ever just cut and dry anymore... not by a long shot.After Sam's had an xray and his braces were put on the Dr. called me to the office and showed me Sam's xray. He words were a shock to me and made my eyes teared up as he explained to me that it seems that 4-5 of his front top teeth are fractured. The fractures were not there when they last xrayed (before the accident). He said he hoped that the teeth would stay in and hopefully not fall out or cause any other damage but he couldnt be sure of that. The 4-5 that are fractured are injured high enough up that they are not near the gum line but low enough that they can cause problems. He is hoping that since there was no problems wth infection or sensitivity that there will not be any issues-- but he said he cant promise or predict anything... so we will have to wait and see if we are in for with Sams teeth. There were other teeth that had fractures but they are all at the tips of the roots (apparently no real worry there then). The Dr. said that if the teeth cause problems then they will have to come out and sam will have to have false ones until he has stopped growing and forming and they can put in implants... joy joy. we are just praying that the teeth will not cause any issues for Sam (and us) and we can just 'enjoy' the braces...
So how they got fractured is a mystery other than that if it were the accident then he either hit his mouth with the gun as he fell or when he fell his mouth hit the ground... either way the teeth were NOT fractured last year in June but now are.... sigh... just once i would appreciate an appointment with no surprises.
Monday, April 13, 2009
new schedules and spring
Dennis and I met with Sams school today and we have made the decision on our own to keep Sam home on Wednesdays in hopes of winning against this fatigue that is new to our regime! No matter what our week will through at us Wednesdays will be a home day for Sammi. He will rest and hopefully sleep on these days... maybe we can make some progress with other things after we have been doing this after a while.
Our surprise for the kids March break was fabulous! We went to West Ed mall with my mom. She flew us all there (well WestJet did the flying) and put us up in the FantasyLand Hotel for the week.It was a great experience. The kids did the water park, the amusement park, we got caricactures done of us all, old time photos done, and lots of time spent shopping, golfing, eating and relaxing... it was great! They were so surprised by the whole thing!
The kids ate lots of new and interesting foods and lots of sweets! Then we came home to have Easter this weekend and again... more candy/chocolate -- they are all living on a permenant sugar rush for the last 2 weeks....
So we have spent the last week not only catching up on sleep but I have been recouperating from a nasty chest cold. Gotta love travelling-- yuppers I do!
There is not much else new to report on our home front. I wonder some days if keeping this blog anymore is worth it... I feel somedays like all I do is whine on it.
Our surprise for the kids March break was fabulous! We went to West Ed mall with my mom. She flew us all there (well WestJet did the flying) and put us up in the FantasyLand Hotel for the week.It was a great experience. The kids did the water park, the amusement park, we got caricactures done of us all, old time photos done, and lots of time spent shopping, golfing, eating and relaxing... it was great! They were so surprised by the whole thing!
The kids ate lots of new and interesting foods and lots of sweets! Then we came home to have Easter this weekend and again... more candy/chocolate -- they are all living on a permenant sugar rush for the last 2 weeks....
So we have spent the last week not only catching up on sleep but I have been recouperating from a nasty chest cold. Gotta love travelling-- yuppers I do!
There is not much else new to report on our home front. I wonder some days if keeping this blog anymore is worth it... I feel somedays like all I do is whine on it.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
songs that make you think...
As I was coming home yesterday from my second trip to Brandon (first was in the morning with Sam to get his spacers put on for his braces next week) to get Dennis and Isaac their new glasses, I listened to music -- really listened to the words...
Darius Rucker's song "it wont be like this for long" had me in tears. I cried as i listened to it and remembered all those times when dennis and I wondered if we would ever make it thru that period of time... we did. I think it will be my new motto-theme-song for life these days. It is what i need to remind myself of it when we are having our days with the kids (not just Sam but all of them!) It wasnt that long ago that I was a busy mom with 4 kids 5 and under.... now I am a busy mom of 1 girl, 1 tween boy and 2 teen boys. Where did the time go!?
Another song i listened to was "you're gonna miss this" by Trace Atkins (one of my favorite country singers!!!) It was basically a bawlfest all the way home-- thankgoodness for my big "jackie-O" sunglasses--lol
Teary eyes and wet kleenexs aside, lately listening to songs and reading stories and hearing others life stories and with the upcoming season of Easter and all the miracles of Jesus just has been reminding me of how lucky I am to have 4 such wonderful kids, an amazing and loving husband! As a family we are extremely lucky to not only have witnessed a few miracles in our circle but to also have grown closer in the times of stress and issues. I know lots of people do but when you are truely affected by things (and not just things in your life but by those around you too) i think it makes you (or it should make you) step back and reassess what is important in life.
Darius Rucker's song "it wont be like this for long" had me in tears. I cried as i listened to it and remembered all those times when dennis and I wondered if we would ever make it thru that period of time... we did. I think it will be my new motto-theme-song for life these days. It is what i need to remind myself of it when we are having our days with the kids (not just Sam but all of them!) It wasnt that long ago that I was a busy mom with 4 kids 5 and under.... now I am a busy mom of 1 girl, 1 tween boy and 2 teen boys. Where did the time go!?
Another song i listened to was "you're gonna miss this" by Trace Atkins (one of my favorite country singers!!!) It was basically a bawlfest all the way home-- thankgoodness for my big "jackie-O" sunglasses--lol
Teary eyes and wet kleenexs aside, lately listening to songs and reading stories and hearing others life stories and with the upcoming season of Easter and all the miracles of Jesus just has been reminding me of how lucky I am to have 4 such wonderful kids, an amazing and loving husband! As a family we are extremely lucky to not only have witnessed a few miracles in our circle but to also have grown closer in the times of stress and issues. I know lots of people do but when you are truely affected by things (and not just things in your life but by those around you too) i think it makes you (or it should make you) step back and reassess what is important in life.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Just another Thursday
Today is a ski trip day at the boys school -- so Sam is staying with me (first going to work then coming home at noon to sleep) and we have doctor appointments this afternoon. Sam has been just wiped these past weeks-- wiped as in pale, circles under his eyes, fatigues, grouchy, emotional and just not himself. It is so hard to see and know that the doctors arent doing much to help us!
Today I want answers for his no weight gain (he may be in the 'normal' range for his height-- but he is not anywhere NEAR his pre-accident weight!) , his not sleeping right (we are still waiting for the sleep clinic to contact us!), he has issues with eating -- foods taste different to him now -- so he doesnt eat as much as he used to--hence no weight gain! People (meaning the in the medical field) need to start doing something about getting Sam back to 'normal' or closer to it than we are now!
This is the problem with a TBI like Sam's. He is functioning so well in life that the issues we have with him are going un-noticed and un-cared for by doctors and sadly the education system. I am tired of fighting but i cant stop or else where does that leave Samuel? I am so busy fighting for him that somedays i fee like my other kids maybe resent me for it or that i am missing out on thier things. (for example: I have to take off time from work to have Sam at home that i can't take time off to do things with them at school...)
Dennis and I are planning a fun Spring Break for the kids in a week and a bit and if we cant get Sam to be not so fatigued and pale-- no one will enjoy themselves and we really need a change of pace and a change of view (meaning not be here at home where we are ALL THE TIME). All the kids need a break from what our lives have become and I am hoping that we can get Sam into a 'healthy' form so that everyone can enjoy a week holidays and we can spend some real quality time together and reconnect as a family...
Today I want answers for his no weight gain (he may be in the 'normal' range for his height-- but he is not anywhere NEAR his pre-accident weight!) , his not sleeping right (we are still waiting for the sleep clinic to contact us!), he has issues with eating -- foods taste different to him now -- so he doesnt eat as much as he used to--hence no weight gain! People (meaning the in the medical field) need to start doing something about getting Sam back to 'normal' or closer to it than we are now!
This is the problem with a TBI like Sam's. He is functioning so well in life that the issues we have with him are going un-noticed and un-cared for by doctors and sadly the education system. I am tired of fighting but i cant stop or else where does that leave Samuel? I am so busy fighting for him that somedays i fee like my other kids maybe resent me for it or that i am missing out on thier things. (for example: I have to take off time from work to have Sam at home that i can't take time off to do things with them at school...)
Dennis and I are planning a fun Spring Break for the kids in a week and a bit and if we cant get Sam to be not so fatigued and pale-- no one will enjoy themselves and we really need a change of pace and a change of view (meaning not be here at home where we are ALL THE TIME). All the kids need a break from what our lives have become and I am hoping that we can get Sam into a 'healthy' form so that everyone can enjoy a week holidays and we can spend some real quality time together and reconnect as a family...
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Clarification
I thought today I would post the entire TRUE story about Sam's accident. I was talking with someone the other day and was informed that they had an entirely different "take" on the accident. Then looking back through the posts i saw that I hadn't posted the story as we finally learned it to be! First we thought that Sam had been practicing Air Cadet manuvres and had the gun over his head.
We eventually learned from BOTH Josh and Sam what had actually happened. Here it is:
Josh and Sam were going out to 'clean up' the birds from the barn for Grandpa (and for some moving target practice I am sure!) Sam was using a .22 caliber rifle that was new to him in the respect that it had a scope on it. Sam had learned how to shoot a gun with both eyes open and to use the barrel of your gun to line up your target. There was a bird in Sam's sights and he loaded and cocked his gun to shoot it. As he brought up the .22 to aim and probably misjudged the distance of the gun (since he was not used to shooting one with a scope) and it hit his head and dazed him. This dazing would have resulted in him dropping the gun (possibly hands going numb) and as it hit the ground it discharged at the same time as Samuel fell over from being dazed... thus being shot in the head with the .22. When Josh saw this he ran for the house to get the grandparents and Sam then GOT UP, picked up his gun, carried it in a safe 'travel' manner and proceeded to walk to the house. Grandma and Grandpa met Sam at the door and took him in to clean him up (at this point no one knew he had been shot-- they thought he had been hit in the head with the scope of the gun) When Grandpa stared to clean him up he knew what had happened and he got everyone to the car and rushed to the hospital. Sam was conscience the ride there (but he doesn't remember it) and it was after he was in the hospital that he became paralyzed on the left side.
During this time I was called by Dennis to say that Sam was at the hospital and could i pick him up (still thinking hit by scope) and I got there in time to see them wheeling him out of xray with Grandpa. When I got to them both Sam was covered in blood and he looked up to me and said in a slow garbled way "I hurt my head mom". I was shocked to say the least and the rest of that day is a blur. I do remember calling my friend to see if she could come and get Hannah and Ike since we thought we were going to Brandon, and I think she called Pastor Dean. I know called Dennis and told him that they were going to be taking Sam to Brandon ... i made a few other calls to my mom and to my friend again and then everyone was there. The kids were all crying, our Dr. was reassuring me that things were going to be ok and Dennis and I were on our way to get teh car filled with gas before heading out to Winnipeg.
I know that God interceded for the ride to Wpg. I kept thinking that it was just a concussion and told Dennis to phone his boss since they were going to probably keep him in over night for observation and it wasn't until we got to Headingly that things started to fall into place for me. By the time we hit the perimeter the penny dropped and I understood that Sam was shot in the head and we had to get to the Children's Hosp. RIGHT NOW!
We had a great surgeon that not only spoke to us about what to expect with Sam after the surgery, but he took time to talk to Sam and find out what all he was 'into' and he spoke with him for a bit. Sam was in surgery for alot longer than what they were anticipating but they had alot of cleaning up of the wound to do. But he was out that night and Dennis and I spent those hours sitting in the waiting room with Pastor Dean and Pam (his wife) watching a silent t.v. and tryig to not focus on what the doctor had told us to possibly expect. (I wont go into those expectations-- it suffices to say that it was not going to be an easy row to hoe).
Sam was moved to PICU and for then following few days he was in and out of it -- naturally, as they didnt want to medicate him too much so they could get true brain readings. But when he was 'awake' he would sign to us "I love you" and a thumbs up for "I'm ok". It was in PICU that we discovered his apnea... which we are still having to deal with.
By Friday of that week Sam was moved to a regular ward and was well on his way to recovery.. and the rest is HIS-story...
We eventually learned from BOTH Josh and Sam what had actually happened. Here it is:
Josh and Sam were going out to 'clean up' the birds from the barn for Grandpa (and for some moving target practice I am sure!) Sam was using a .22 caliber rifle that was new to him in the respect that it had a scope on it. Sam had learned how to shoot a gun with both eyes open and to use the barrel of your gun to line up your target. There was a bird in Sam's sights and he loaded and cocked his gun to shoot it. As he brought up the .22 to aim and probably misjudged the distance of the gun (since he was not used to shooting one with a scope) and it hit his head and dazed him. This dazing would have resulted in him dropping the gun (possibly hands going numb) and as it hit the ground it discharged at the same time as Samuel fell over from being dazed... thus being shot in the head with the .22. When Josh saw this he ran for the house to get the grandparents and Sam then GOT UP, picked up his gun, carried it in a safe 'travel' manner and proceeded to walk to the house. Grandma and Grandpa met Sam at the door and took him in to clean him up (at this point no one knew he had been shot-- they thought he had been hit in the head with the scope of the gun) When Grandpa stared to clean him up he knew what had happened and he got everyone to the car and rushed to the hospital. Sam was conscience the ride there (but he doesn't remember it) and it was after he was in the hospital that he became paralyzed on the left side.
During this time I was called by Dennis to say that Sam was at the hospital and could i pick him up (still thinking hit by scope) and I got there in time to see them wheeling him out of xray with Grandpa. When I got to them both Sam was covered in blood and he looked up to me and said in a slow garbled way "I hurt my head mom". I was shocked to say the least and the rest of that day is a blur. I do remember calling my friend to see if she could come and get Hannah and Ike since we thought we were going to Brandon, and I think she called Pastor Dean. I know called Dennis and told him that they were going to be taking Sam to Brandon ... i made a few other calls to my mom and to my friend again and then everyone was there. The kids were all crying, our Dr. was reassuring me that things were going to be ok and Dennis and I were on our way to get teh car filled with gas before heading out to Winnipeg.
I know that God interceded for the ride to Wpg. I kept thinking that it was just a concussion and told Dennis to phone his boss since they were going to probably keep him in over night for observation and it wasn't until we got to Headingly that things started to fall into place for me. By the time we hit the perimeter the penny dropped and I understood that Sam was shot in the head and we had to get to the Children's Hosp. RIGHT NOW!
We had a great surgeon that not only spoke to us about what to expect with Sam after the surgery, but he took time to talk to Sam and find out what all he was 'into' and he spoke with him for a bit. Sam was in surgery for alot longer than what they were anticipating but they had alot of cleaning up of the wound to do. But he was out that night and Dennis and I spent those hours sitting in the waiting room with Pastor Dean and Pam (his wife) watching a silent t.v. and tryig to not focus on what the doctor had told us to possibly expect. (I wont go into those expectations-- it suffices to say that it was not going to be an easy row to hoe).
Sam was moved to PICU and for then following few days he was in and out of it -- naturally, as they didnt want to medicate him too much so they could get true brain readings. But when he was 'awake' he would sign to us "I love you" and a thumbs up for "I'm ok". It was in PICU that we discovered his apnea... which we are still having to deal with.
By Friday of that week Sam was moved to a regular ward and was well on his way to recovery.. and the rest is HIS-story...
Friday, March 13, 2009
No news is good news... well maybe not
There is not much new to report here on the home front. Sammi's weight is STILL 103lbs... no gains but no losses either!
I have been sick this week but also busy with talking with the lady in Winnipeg who co-ordinates our appointments- Gail. He has been trying to get me some answers to things and some help where we can! We are trying to not only educate ourselves these days on everything that has happened and IS happening with Sam but we are trying to get the school to help out too! Last night was Student-lead conferences (please dont get me started on these...) and we spoke to a few teachers about watching for Sam. This week he came home not just pale but WHITE! This means he is exhausted and cant cope! I was shocked when he walked thru the door! My first thot was why no one called to tell me to come and get him! (Sam doesnt know when he is tired at this point-- he can tell me when he has a headache since it is an actual physical pain--but being fatigued is not something he recognizes and needs prompts to help him to recognize this!!) When Sam is pale, slurring words, 'half'smiling, dragging his left foot or not using his left arm, the left side of his face is slack (like that of a stroke patient) OR is talking really fast... it means he is tired and i need to take him home and get him to bed! ANd since he doesnt know when he is like that, we rely on the school to help us and check in with him! He will deny that he is tired most times but the physical signs cant be ignored by a teacher.... soooooooooooo we are waiting for the physc. eval to get here so we can go to the teachers again and see what is new that they are seeing and what is happening there daily!
There is so much that is not happening to help Sam get better that I am frustrated to no end! He gets no gym time at school since he cant participate in the regular gym class (still tomuch of a risk for him), so he is doing mental work all the time-- kind of ironic for a kid with a BRAIN INJURY! He was playing the trombone again in band (which is too heavy for him to hold up-- on the left side...) so we asked him to be changed to the drums again (common sense would say to not give the child a large cumbersome instrument so he is tired for the rest of the day of school). Like i siad i could go on and on but then i would just sound like i am whining and I am not waing to sound like that, i just want Sam to get better.
Most people see him and think he is doing great-- well he is physcially to a point (not gaining weight is a good thing to point out here) but he is still healing and we may not know the full extent of his injuries until he is out on his own and living in the world -- where his days are not so structured with parents and teachers telling him what to do. Makes the future seem so long some days...
Also Sam's dream of football is not a realistic one -- at least not this year. He is not to a weight that is safe for him. We havent told him yet and when we do I am sure he will be upset. I just pray it doesnt set him back.....
I have been sick this week but also busy with talking with the lady in Winnipeg who co-ordinates our appointments- Gail. He has been trying to get me some answers to things and some help where we can! We are trying to not only educate ourselves these days on everything that has happened and IS happening with Sam but we are trying to get the school to help out too! Last night was Student-lead conferences (please dont get me started on these...) and we spoke to a few teachers about watching for Sam. This week he came home not just pale but WHITE! This means he is exhausted and cant cope! I was shocked when he walked thru the door! My first thot was why no one called to tell me to come and get him! (Sam doesnt know when he is tired at this point-- he can tell me when he has a headache since it is an actual physical pain--but being fatigued is not something he recognizes and needs prompts to help him to recognize this!!) When Sam is pale, slurring words, 'half'smiling, dragging his left foot or not using his left arm, the left side of his face is slack (like that of a stroke patient) OR is talking really fast... it means he is tired and i need to take him home and get him to bed! ANd since he doesnt know when he is like that, we rely on the school to help us and check in with him! He will deny that he is tired most times but the physical signs cant be ignored by a teacher.... soooooooooooo we are waiting for the physc. eval to get here so we can go to the teachers again and see what is new that they are seeing and what is happening there daily!
There is so much that is not happening to help Sam get better that I am frustrated to no end! He gets no gym time at school since he cant participate in the regular gym class (still tomuch of a risk for him), so he is doing mental work all the time-- kind of ironic for a kid with a BRAIN INJURY! He was playing the trombone again in band (which is too heavy for him to hold up-- on the left side...) so we asked him to be changed to the drums again (common sense would say to not give the child a large cumbersome instrument so he is tired for the rest of the day of school). Like i siad i could go on and on but then i would just sound like i am whining and I am not waing to sound like that, i just want Sam to get better.
Most people see him and think he is doing great-- well he is physcially to a point (not gaining weight is a good thing to point out here) but he is still healing and we may not know the full extent of his injuries until he is out on his own and living in the world -- where his days are not so structured with parents and teachers telling him what to do. Makes the future seem so long some days...
Also Sam's dream of football is not a realistic one -- at least not this year. He is not to a weight that is safe for him. We havent told him yet and when we do I am sure he will be upset. I just pray it doesnt set him back.....
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Andy... You will be missed
Andrew Robert (Andy) Martin
On February 25, 2009 in his 40th year. Beloved husband and soul mate of Barbara Ruth (nee Mayberry). Much loved son of Susan & step son of Bill Rothernel. Dear brother of Jeff (Shelley), much loved son in law of Elizabeth and the late Glen Mayberry. Beloved uncle of Erika and Jake. Predeceased by his father William Robert (Bob) Martin (1995). Andy will be truly missed by his large, extended family, his many friends and his animal companions, Valour and Willow. Cremation has taken place. Arrangements entrusted to TRANQUILITY BURIAL & CREMATION SERVICES INC. 276 St. Paul Ave. Brantford (519)757-1654. A celebration of Andy's life will be held on Friday March 6th at 3:00 p.m - 6:00 p.m. at Sydenham United Church , 120 Sydenham St. Brantford. In lieu of flowers donations to the Brantford Humane Society, the Brantford Food Bank, Animal Rescue or the Stedman Hospice would be appreciated.
My cousin, Andy, passed away last week. He was a great guy! He was the one person in the room who would make everyone laugh and then keep you all smiling the rest of the day. He is going to be missed by alot of people and he has left a hole in our family that will never be filled.
The fight is over and now you can rest.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
how much!??
Josh, Sam and I went into Brandon for orthodontist appointments today. Josh was just for his monthly check-up but Sam was to see if he was ready for his braces.... and it is a go. On April 14 i will drop him off, he wil get his braces and i will be expected to pay the bill of justunder $4900.00 !!!!!!!!!!!! and that is with the 'discount' of our second child to have braces. (i asked if we would get $800.00 when isaac goes for his and $1200.00 when hannah goes in-- they laughed at me!) i didnt think it was so funny.... My 'happy thot' about the $4900.00 is that if it helps Sam with his sleeping (he has sleep apnea) then it will all be worth it.
We did a weigh in with Sam last night too and again he is down a pound! I cant for the life of me figure out why this kids isnt gaining weight! Maybe the doctor can help me with it at our next appointment.
Another sunny spot in my world is that i spoke with the co-ordinator of the Oaks Division (the area at the HSC that Sam falls under in Wpg). I told her of our 'issues' and what we see and she told me that it is all normal behaviour for people with a frontal lobe injury! I was so happy to hear that (it means i am NOT crazy! well not crazy in that area anyway!lol) She was going to bring up Sam's case to doctors today in a weekly meeting and hopefully we wouldhear back and get some help. i am not going to get my hopes up too high about this but it sure was nice to hear. She said she was upset to hear that we are having to educate ourselves on Sam's injury and what we are experiencing. She feels that the medical profession and the school system could be doing more to help us.... so we shall see if anything comes of it!
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
what was lost is now found!!!!
YES!!!! sam's RIDER hat was found!! The museum called me last week to say that they had found it in an area of the museum (that she thought they hadnt been in) and they were holding it for us. So yesterday Dennis and I took Sam in for the last of his Phsyc. Eval. and while he was with the doctor, we went to pick it up. sam is just a "bit" excited on the return of his hat! lolMore good news is that the doctors we saw yesterday aer going to send info on the areas that Sam needs his help in to the schools -- for example... his problem solving (like math) is slightly deficient. (which is due to his organizational skills being low --makes sense...) his vocabulary is high!!!! (i was not surprised at this as the boy uses his words ALL THE TIME! lol) On the serious note tho we also discovered that there was a misunderstanding with the doctor that referred us to the phsyc. eval. told me that we were going to be going to those appt for PTS(post traumatic stress) but they were told to do a regular eval... so no wonder we were all confused and hoping for more!
But none the less Dennis was very happy with what he learned yesterday, but i on the other hand was expecting something different...maybe more(but then we thot it was testing for PTS...). I was hoping for some helpful tools to use with him at home. Dennis pointed out to me on our way home that maybe we need to stop expecting help from the outside and keep doing what i am doing and look on my own and we will continue to work by trial and error with all the kids (like we do with normal parenting skills LOL) He feels that if we stop worrying about when we will get some help maybe the stress in our lives will lessen... so i am going to take the advice of my husband (who usually is good at this sort of thing...) and try to not worry about the whole thing and we will take it as we have been day by day (sometimes hour by hour).
I have been reading "In an Instant" by Lee and Bob Woodruff. It is written by both on thier life together and thier journey with TBI. Bob was an ABC correspondent and while working on a story in Afganhistan his tank was hit by an IED. It is a very moving story and i identify so much with the story but not in a way I thought i would. I find it hard to read somedays without thinking about my dad and what i went thru with his TBI. (for those who dont know my dad was beaten up 12 yrs ago by someone and left a quadripelic and severely brain damaged.) It was because of my dad that when i was in college 4 years ago, doing my Educational Assistant Certification, that my major paper was on TBI and helped me to not only understand what the doctors all were telling us about Sam that first night and days after but on where to start on looking for information about TBI. (I have quite a bit of experience with TBI... too much some days and not enough on others. I have gone from the extreme of paralysis and the mental loss of my father to the next extreme of a walking/talking miracle but people not understanding that there is a deficiency.)
that was quite a ramble...
Other good news with our family is that Joshua, Isaac and Hannah all seem to be settling finally. There are still moments but then when isnt there with kids, right? But as an email from a friend pointed out that they:
"are so competent and pleasant to me and particularly each other. It's obvious that they are accustomed to working around home and they just go ahead and do things with out prompting. Their interaction with each other is so wonderful to see. I'm sure they do have their times but it is so evident that they usually enjoy each other's company"
It was an email that made me cry this morning when i read it. It made me feel good about our kids and that maybe (just maybe) we are on the right track with them and they might just be doing what God gave us families for...to pull together and stick together when times are not the usual.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
up and down!
ok sams weight this week is down again! I wish i could lose it as easily as he seems too! Again i offered to give him my extra 10-20 lbs... but said said "no mom, you keep it"...sigh so we are back to square one with his weight! He is going to really need to pack on the pounds and muscle if he intends to even try out for football this year!
Friday, February 13, 2009
APB ALERT!!!!
<-------please be on the look out for a green Saskatchewan RoughRiders hat! It is set to fit Samuels head and it has the autograph of #7 Weston Dressler (This is him signing Sam's hat-------------------------------------->)
on the peak. Last seen at the Manitoba Museum yesterday in the 'school coat check' area. This hat was a special gift to Sam from a dear friend and it only increased in value when we were at the "Banjo Bowl" of 2008 and Sam was able to see his favorite team play AND he got it signed!
(just a side note-- RIDERS WON!!!!!!)
I have called the museum and they have looked for it but apparently it isnt there. Sam is just a bit upset so i might see if i can get a hold of the team and ask if i send my hat if they can sign it for him....they might, you never know...
but in the mean time-- if you happen to see a hat that looks like this... dont snatch it and run, ask if they found it and explain the story of the hat to them... maybe direct them to the blog and the posting of the football game in Sept'08... maybe they will return it!
thank you now back to my usual ranting....
Monday, February 9, 2009
pick pick pick
now i KNOW that siblings pick at each other (I may not have any siblings but after the last 14yrs of kids i have an idea of it) but this afternoon Samuel is picking at everyone for EVERYTHING and i am at the end of my rope... I have once again sent him to his room (after numerous attempts of asking what was wrong and why he was in happy-- all answers are "nothing"...) I guess the good times only last so long! I hate to say it but i hope there is school tomorrow so i can have sometime to myself without feeling like I am always 'picking' at Sam about 'picking' at everyone
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